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Vitis vinifera

Provings of Vine

White - Austria - Vitis vinifera folium

Red - Germany -Vitis vinifera cum fructibus

A study of two homeopathic remedies

 

Peter Koenig & Gerda Dauz, Eisenstadt - Vienna

Juergen Weiland, Bonn

1998 - 2003

 

Translation:
Hilary Hampel, Merseyside, UK
Kurt Hampel, Mold, UK

 

 

                                                                        ISBN  3-933760-04-6

flaggegb.jpg (831 Byte)   published in one volume in English language by Fagus Verlag, 136 p., Euro 16,00

Two homeopathic provings of the plant of vine make up the main contect of this book - one proving done in Austria and one in the Rhine valley, both carefully conducted after the standards of the great homeopathic remedy provings.
The book also provides an introduction into the biology and history of vine and wine, a proper repertorization as well as further thoughts on the experiences with this new remedy.
Like many other remedies that belong to the important drugs of mankind Vitis vinifera promises to achieve a central place among our materia medice.

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Table of contents:

Introduction                                                  

The plant Vitis vinifera [P.K.]

Wine in antiquity -  Mythology of wine  [J.W.]

Vitis vinifera proving

                Folium Vitis vinifera - White wine from Burgenland  [P.K. & G.D.]                          
                    Proving procedure & general conditions
                    Selection of symptoms from the proving (head to toe schema)

Vitis vinifera proving

                Vitis vinifera cum fructibus – Red wine from Ahrtal [J.W.]
                    Proving procedure & general conditions
                    The proving journals (head to toe schema) 

Vitis Repertory additions [P.K. & J.W.]

Vitis vinifera in practice – a red wine grape case study  [J.W.]

Ideas about Vitis

                Search for something to hold on to; restraint & over-indulgence [P.K.] 
                Vitis - Alcoholus - Vinum, what does the vine know about the wine?[P.K.]
                Animals & Vitis  [P.K.]
                Vitis - affinity to  beer or wine drinkers [P.K.]
                Regulation of heat and cold. Snow-white & blood-red  [J.W.]
                Injuries, accidents & bites  [J.W.] 
                Fungal infections & miscarriage  [P.K.] 
                Possible connections with other remedies [P.K. & J.W.]

Literature and miscellaneous Vitis sources 

Short  biographies and authors’ addresses


 

‘At the top of all remedies you find me, wine.

Wherever there is no wine, medicines are needed,

as all kinds of diseases appear.’

Introduction: Why?

                To conduct a homeopathic proving of wine, in order to create a specific remedy, has been an obligation, a temptation and a challenge for us for a number of reasons. Vitis vinifera is one of those ‘minor’ homeopathic remedies, which has been somewhat under-used in the shadow of much better-known remedies with a larger sphere of action. However, one could assume  it would have a  ‘larger’ sphere of action, not least because of it’s cultural and historical significance as a noble companion throughout the evolution of human kind, in addition to symbol of peace and prosperity.  The grapevine is also one of the prominent  cultivated plants of both Burgenland and Rhineland, contributing to the shaping of their landscapes. It was in these habitats, in which the Vitis provings were analysed, evaluated and processed. 

With the exception of one other homeopathic proving of an earlier date, we have, up to now (January 2003), no knowledge of any further medicinal trials based on Samuel Hahnemann’s methods.  To date there have never been any repertory rubrics listing Vitis, that were based on results from provings.  

The grapevine and the juice extracted from its fruit have deep rooted associations with human beings and their cultures, very much like cereal crops. Wine was widely appreciated in ancient Egypt 5000 years ago and was attributed to the deities Isis and Osiris.  Around 500 B.C. the Greeks are said to have  introduced wine to Western Europe, and the Romans were responsible for it spreading throughout their empire.  It’s importance increased significantly since it became ‘the blood of Christ’ in altar wine.

There are some astonishing parallels between human beings and wine (and consequently the plant Vitis vinifera also), which became apparent only through our intensive studies: The plant requires similar climatic conditions to humans:  they prosper like human beings in a warm/temperate climate   - between 40 and 50 degrees latitude on our planet. Similar to human  civilization, Vitis has spread (alongside people?) in the valleys of large rivers. Wherever there are grapevines, there are people and their culture. Under the right conditions, wine ages similarly to humans and also ‘matures’ with age. Both, vine and man need tender, loving care in order to develop, grow and mature. This care is particularly necessary with people who suffer from ‘wine sickness’ (alcoholism). – There are some striking linguistic links between man and wine (wine-language), which will be discussed in more detail  later on in this book. And so, for our provers the proving facilitated in many respects an encounter with  a familiar  substance of familiar character, grown on native soil.

Furthermore, it has been exciting and rewarding to discover aspects of the grapevine’s ‘psycho-activity’. In his book about psychoactive drugs, Rätsch includes Vitis as one of them. However, he did not support this with evidence. He holds ‘alcohol’ - as a secondary product at the end of the fermentation process - responsible for the widely known psychological effects, which are generally known, rather than the plant Vitis and it’s constituents. It is important to be specific about the distinction between the homeopathic remedies Vitis, Alcoholus and Vinum.  In this book we are also attempting to answer these complex questions from the perspective of  homeopathic research, namely, as a result of our proving.

On August 31, 2002, the Austrian part of the Vitis vinifera proving had its world premiere at the 56th World Congress of the Liga Medicorum Homoeopathica Internationalis (LMHI) in Sibiu, Romania (‘Vitis Vinifera – A new and surprising Remedy’). The first Vitis presentation in Austria took place on January 18, 2002 at the ‘Vienna Homeopathy Lecture’, which had been moved to Burgenland.  On that occasion two of the female provers took part, as well as the manufacturer of the remedy and a vinologist; to all of whom we are very grateful.

In this book we have incorporated two mutually inspiring Vitis provings as harmoniously as possible, one (‘white wine’) from Austria, the other (‘red wine’) from Germany. The sequence  of the presentation is in accordance with the development of the plant Vitis vinifera itself (first the leaf, then the fruit), and the seasonal cycle (spring first, and then the autumn).

We have deliberately refrained from including a chapter on ‘healing and consoling’ through wine in the history of medicine (e.g. as in Plato and Hildegard von Bingen) to the present day (‘prevention of heart attacks’). For one, there is sufficient literature on the subject available, but also specific ‘Vitis  effects’ cannot be differentiated from general effects caused by alcohol (see below). Here the flavonoid preparations made from red vine leaves (Parthenocissus), which have a use in venous insufficiency as phytotherapeutic agents, are an exception. We also felt it was not appropriate to explore Edward Bach’s use of the grapevine as ‘plant of the soul’ (Vine and Grape) within the framework of this book.


 

Vitis vinifera proving

 (Folium vitis viniferae - White wine from Burgenland, Austria) [P.K. & G.D.]

 

 

Selection of symptoms from the proving

The responses of those provers who were sensitive to Vitis vinifera were deep, far-reaching, and to some extent caused strong and reproducible changes - both psychological and physical. Whereas there are several demonstrations of gratitude for the positive proving experience (curative response, improvement in energy, more able to cope with life situations, ...), there was only one negative experience (prover 10f - toothache, sleep disturbance, which was also transmitted to her breast-fed baby, resulting in family conflict!) which required treatment and the antidoting of her proving symptoms (with Sepia). We have quoted Prover 1f’s account as it illustrates other similar reports from the proving.

‘I was quite surprised that I actually developed symptoms this time, as nothing happened during the first two provings I participated in. I was very happy to know that the pillules definitely weren’t placebos’.

We have attempted to arrange this chapter in as practical a manner as possible. Individual quotes from the proving records have been classified according to a particular theme (heading) and (prover) number. At the end of each symptom we have included the prover’s number. The number following the forward slash refers to how many days after taking the first dose of the remedy the symptoms occurred. ‘P’ means post-proving phase, e.g. 22P means the 22nd day from the beginning of the proving, from the time the first dose was administered, whereby in this case the observation of the symptom fell in the period following the last dose of the remedy. An ‘ F’ means that the respective observation is a result of a follow-up consultation, which often occurred up to a few weeks after the last dose of the remedy. We decided not to separate curative symptoms from the rest. Underlining in the dreams stems from the provers, as also any other emphasis. (‘C’) refers to our comments on individual symptoms. The striking change in provers’ energy has been given a chapter of it’s own, following on from the general symptoms.

 
 

Mind

Calm, composed , peaceful [1]

 

Noticeable calmness and composure. (15f/2)

Extremely calm. (15f/3)

Noticeably calm and composed. (15f/5)

Extremely calm, well-balanced and composed. (15f/7)

Dream: large frogs that were croaking away happily. All in all, a very peaceful feeling. (5m/6)

 

Bad tempered, quarrelsome, annoyed [2]

 

Grumpy, everybody and everything is getting on my nerves. (8f/3)

In a bad mood all of a sudden, incredibly irritated by minor things. (8f/4)

Notice that I am sometimes being very unfair, but can’t stop myself from being cross (start a quarrel suddenly, am really quarrelsome).[3] (8f/4)

 

Sudden anger

 

In a bad mood all of a sudden. (8f/4)

Impatient, sudden annoyance building up, very easily offended and hurt (could have cried over the most trivial things). (10f/4)

I was under verbal attack from a woman in the underground (around 10.00am), but I didn’t turn away, as I usually would have done. Instead I snarled back at her quite brusquely. Was very surprised about it myself, was this a reaction to unfair criticism? (13m/4)

A similar situation as in the underground, where I was at the till in the restaurant in the General Infirmary and where I felt I had been treated unfairly. Instead of suppressing my frustration or anger, suddenly, without thinking, I vented them. (13m/6)

 

Easily insulted, hurt

 

Impatient, sudden annoyance building up, very easily offended and hurt (could have cried over the most trivial things). (10f/4)

 

More assertive

 

Verbal attack from a woman in the underground (around 10.00am), but I didn’t turn away, as I usually would have done. Instead I snarled back at her quite brusquely. Was very surprised about it myself, was this a reaction to unfair criticism? (13m/4)

 

A similar situation as in the underground where I was at the till in the restaurant in the General Infirmary and where I felt I had been treated unfairly. Instead of suppressing my frustration or anger, suddenly, without thinking, I vented them. (13m/6)

 

Can’t help laughing, don’t know why

 

After taking the remedy I can’t help laughing, don’t know why. (12m/2)

In the evening before the oral exam of the doctor’s degree I feel agitated, but then I have to have a good laugh about myself and my agitation. (12m/P)

 

Cries about trivial things

 

Stuck in a traffic jam. I usually enjoy driving, but today I am close to tears and would really like to just leave the car in the middle of the traffic jam and walk the rest of the way. (4f/2)

I’m constipated. Can’t get off to sleep because of the feeling I could explode, and am close to tears. (4f/2)

Impatient, sudden annoyance building up, very easily offended and hurt (could have cried over the most trivial things). (10f/4)

 

Can’t concentrate

 

Severe rotatory vertigo (something I never get), can’t concentrate, can’t keep eyes open, improved after lunch. (10f/P)

 

Confused

 

Afternoon nap, wake at 3.00 pm and am completely disorientated, can’t see what time it is on the clock, still think it is 9.00 am and I should have been at work an hour ago, then become anxious because I’ve neglected my duty. This lasts for about 2 minutes and only then do I realise that I have only slept for half an hour and that everything is ok. (13m/10P)

Exactly the same situation as on 3.4 [C:even the time is the same] (13m/12P)

 

Detached

 

I also feel completely dazed, sometimes don’t understand what is going on around me, can’t think straight, detached, as if I’m wrapped in cotton wool. (8f/10P)

 

 

Dreams

 

Of animals [4]

 

I am in my parents’ garden .... I come across a badger, large, dangerous, ugly, a cunning face, fast, light brown. It is running around in the garden, then goes through the terrace doors into the building. I can’t remember having ever dreamt about animals. It’s very strange about the badger. Feeling in the dream: a little frantic, and anxious that the badger could get me, because it moves so quickly and appears in different places all the time. In the dream the animal that I saw looked like a marten, but I knew for sure that it was a badger. (1f/2)                        

 

Terrible nightmares that wake me, and continue once I fall back to sleep again. Dreams of dark figures following me; of cats that kill each other and injure each other very severely. The dreams definitely feel very real. (4f/1)

 

I was on a pond, which consisted more of mud than water. A couple of frogs were sitting in it, croaking peacefully. The strange thing is that at the same time as being a frog myself, I was also observing the scene from outside. All things considered it was a very peaceful atmosphere. (5m/6)

 

I’m teasing ravens, that are wandering about around me, until they become very angry. They gradually prepare to attack. Just before they attack me I reach a peace settlement with the leader (at the same time I almost don’t get away with it, because I’m messing about and and making fun of the situation. (6m/1)

 

Then I go to the edge of the balcony and look down at the sea. I can see two large rats in the sea and shout to the others how ghastly they are. Suddenly an enormously long, red anaconda surfaces from the depths and everyone, including me, is startled. My mother jumps into the water to take a look at them. I shout after her not to do it, but the snake has already encircled her and strangles her. I scream, try to do something and come across a rifle. Nobody else lifts a finger. The snake disappears with my mother into a tunnel, and I shoot after it. The shot causes the snake and tunnel to go up in fire. It is not possible to rescue my mother. I am left with the impression that my mother is still alive, but that tests are going to be carried out on her while she’s still inside the snake. At the entrance door where this is taking place I meet 2 friends, also medical students, who are on guard. (6m/15P)

 

A friend from the past pays a visit to the family home. My young sister is laid up in plaster in her room. I am in my old room from my childhood. My friend stays sitting in the kitchen; my mother is busy cooking, my brothers and sisters are also there; there are cats all over the place; one of the cats falls into the pan that has spinach in it. Then I say that I won’t eat at home anymore. The cats are thrown out of the window. (9f/6)

 

A boy has a small bird perched on his finger. I crouch down next to the boy and the small bird pecks a tick out from my body. (9f/7)

 

I am playing with the boss’s dog, which usually won’t allow a living soul close to it. I lie down on a lounger, and in doing so the dog keeps trying to jump up at me. I push him down, he bites my hand. There is no blood visible, my hand hurts tremendously, it feels as if it’s been crushed. My boss makes some comment about it. (9f/25P)

 

Bitten by an animal

 

I am in my parents’ garden .... I come across a badger, large, dangerous, ugly, a cunning face, fast, light brown. It’s running around in the garden, then goes through the terrace doors into the building. I try to take a photo of it ... it bites me, digging its teeth into my arm: left arm, the bite is in the dorsal-ulnar in the left wrist, it looks like a small, neat incision, 1/2 cm long, completely smooth, there’s hardly any blood coming out of the wound at all. I warn my parents, who are watching television (a current affairs programme ) that a badger is in the home. I’m holding my injured arm, I know that it hurts but I don’t feel any pain. Dad takes a photograph of the badger. I ask mum for my vaccination certificate to see if I am due to have a tetanus and two additional booster jabs. I think that I am due for one of them. Mum thinks not ... I can’t remember having ever dreamt about animals. It’s very strange about the badger. Feeling in the dream: a little frantic, and anxious that the badger could get me, because it moves so quickly and appears in different places all the time. In the dream the animal that I saw looked like a marten, but I new for sure that it was a badger. (1f/2)                         

 

I am playing with the boss’s dog, which usually won’t allow a living soul close to it. I lie down on a lounger, and in doing so the dog keeps trying to jump up at me. I push him down, he bites my hand. There is no blood visible, my hand hurts tremendously, it feels as if it’s been crushed. My boss makes some comment about it. (9f/25P)

 

Pursuit - threatened (by a violent woman)

 

Terrible nightmares that wake me, which continue once I fall back to sleep again. Dreams of dark figures following me, of cats that kill each other and really injure each other severely, and certainly feel the dreams are very realistic. By that I mean that my sleep is very poor, I do not feel at all rested in the morning and then I have to sleep in the daytime, when I don’t dream though, but tend to sleep like a log. (4f/1)

 

Had nightmares again and dreamt about dark figures that were following me; because of that was also extremely frightened of falling asleep; woke once again unrefreshed and had to have a sleep during the day again. (4f/3)

 

Dreadful dream that was horrifically violent - but also find a solution in the dream and a way to overcome the fear!! There was a lot of detail in the dream and it was very realistic.

 

I am about to go on a ski course with my class and almost everyone is in the coach. I get out again - there are only a few others outside the coach. Suddenly a woman throws a bomb into the bus and drives away in her car. I memorise the car’s registration number and call the police straight away. The police arrive soon after, but say that they can’t arrest the woman as they would need a special unit, which they don’t have in Austria. Most of the police drive away, only 2 female police, dressed in mini skirts, stay behind - I am frightened, because I know that the woman will be back and there will be no-one to protect me. She actually does come back again and I try to leave discreetly to fetch help, but chat to her so she doesn’t catch on that I am aware of who she is. She comes with me and on the way I see some armed men, who are at a wedding/party. I speak to one of the senior men and explain what has happened. He immediately calls for a friend to come along. Feel protected by both of them, although I am still frightened of the woman. I introduce the older man as my grandfather (so that she doesn’t become suspicious) and we carry on walking until we come to a kind of children’s playground. There is a circle in the middle, in which many people are running.

 

My ‘grandfather’ is running with the woman as well. I am with them to begin with, but then become fearful, because, once again, there are so many people in one place and I think she’s going to attempt another attack. Which she does. She runs outside of the circle. The first attempt missed the target, which meant that ‘my grandfather’s’ friend can shoot her, but doesn’t kill her. Her second attempt is successful and, once again, I am the only survivor. Devastation all around, lots of burnt bodies lying around, the woman walks around and checks whether they are all really dead. I am petrified, pretend to be dead and she doesn’t spot me.

 

... I WAKE UP - fall asleep again and carry on dreaming!! (something I never do)

 

I am living in an apartment very close to where the first attack took place and am worried that she could return. My brother and his wife also live with me. They have moved in on a short-term basis so that I won’t be so frightened.

 

One day I am in a bus and I notice that she is sitting in the bus again. The woman suddenly turns into a man, however, but it takes me a while before I realise this and think ‘surely that was a woman before’ after which she turns into a woman again. In the meantime I found out that she is having psychotherapy treatment with the sister of a friend of mine, and that the woman sees her attacks as ‘school-work’ that she has to carry out. (Out of 100 planned mass murders she has only carried out 40!)

 

I try to make contact with the psychotherapist so that she can talk to the woman. And then it comes to me that in Austria there is WEGA (a police division known for it’s brutality) anyway, and they would most definitely be capable of taking her into custody.

 

 ... Feel a sense of relief, have much less fear, because I have managed to free myself from this fear and I could protect myself. I can see a way out, was not at all paralysed with fear in the dream as always used to be the case with these kind of nightmares! (8f/26P)

 

Once again I dream about a violent woman! She is being abusive towards her male friend. On the one hand I am trying to protect him, on the other I am frightened of her and have to protect myself. However, once again I manage to have a talk with her and bring her to her senses. (8f/30P)

 

Celebrations

 

The dream consisted of many chaotic sequences and I only remember part of it: There’s a New Year’s Eve celebration in the building I live in. We have put on a New Year’s Eve party in our apartment, which looks totally different in the dream. Even the way in which the other apartments and the corridors are set out is quite different to how they are in reality. Dad - who flew to America to celebrate New Year, and flew straight back - is there. Mum stayed there. New Year is celebrated just one hour earlier than here, how does that equate with the long flight? He’s going to fly off somewhere again in the summer. Mum makes some comment about this because she will be on her own. My brother is also there and is running around naked, except for a condom. No-one appears surprised. A friend (Canan) is also there, she had also been to America twice. New neighbours (2 women) have moved in. People from all the other apartments come in and sit by them in my apartment. Chairs are already set out. I think how nice this is to get to know people. These are lots of people that I don’t know at all, not the kind of people that actually live in our building. The New Year’s Eve party goes on until 3 am, with people celebrating in the whole of the building, many people in the corridors. The next day I get up at 7 am and was thinking I should have stayed on longer. (1f/11P)

 

I am sitting at a large table, with a group of people who have been invited there to celebrate an occasion: there are people from all over the world, including my parents, and also my brother. (6m/15P)

 

(Painless) injury to the (left) hand

 

I am in my parents’ garden .... I come across a badger, large, dangerous, ugly, a cunning face, fast, light brown. It is running around in the garden, then goes through the terrace doors into the building. I try to take a photo of it ... it bites me, digging its teeth into my arm: left arm, the bite is in the dorsal-ulnar in the left wrist, it looks like a small, neat incision,_ cm long, completely smooth, the wound is hardly bleeding at all. I have got hold of my injured arm, I know that it hurts but I don’t feel any pain. (1f/2)            

 

My mother is driving the car and has to brake hard suddenly. I’m flung out of the car and am thrown quite a distance: beneath me are vines with trellises running parallel and as I’m flying through the air I wonder how my fall is going to be. I try to land causing as little damage as possible, ie I plunge into the vines and brake with my left hand. As I land I notice that I have hardly any injuries, except for a cut on the left hand. They take me to the hospital, my mother is driving too slowly, and very badly. My father is sitting in the back, pretty annoyed with her and wants to take over the driving. (6m/19P)

 

I am playing with the boss’s dog, which usually won’t allow a living soul close to it. I lie down on a lounger, and in doing so the dog keeps trying to jump up at me. I push him down, he bites me on hand. There is no blood visible, my hand hurts tremendously, it feels as if it’s been crushed. My boss makes some comment about it. (9f/25P)

 

Frantic, chaotic [5]

 

Feeling in the dream: a little frantic and anxious that the badger could get me, because it moves so quickly and is constantly in a different place. (1f/2)                            

 

The whole of the time I have the feeling that I have to ‘escape’ to my room, before my dad sees me. I feel frantic inside. Her mustn’t see me. It’s absolutely okay for my brother and my mum to see me, and they do, and it’s also totally okay for me to be in the kitchen. The whole of the time I’m just frightened that dad will see me. This frantic feeling runs through the whole dream. The dream ends as I want to go back into my room again. (1f/7P)

 

The dream consisted of many muddled sequences and I only remembered part of it. (1f/11P)

 

Relatives

 

I am in my parent’s garden ... Mum had been weeding ... I warn my parents, who are watching television (a current affairs programme), there’s a badger inside ... dad takes a photograph of the badger. I ask mum for my vaccination certificate. (1f/2)

 

I am still living at home with my parents. I come down from my room (on the 1st floor) into the kitchen, and take muesli and milk from the fridge. The muesli and milk are in a white bowl with a golden rim. I have to heat up the milk in the microwave. To do this I have to empty it into a different container that doesn’t have a gold rim. I tip it out a couple of times until everything is just right, because on a couple of occasions I spilt some. In the end I’ve got two warmed up bowls with golden rims containing milk and muesli. While this has been going on my brother and parents are sitting in the living room. The whole of the time I have the feeling that I will have to ‘escape’ again to my room before my dad sees me. I feel frantic inside. He mustn’t see me. It’s absolutely okay for my brother and my mum to see me, and they do, and it’s also totally okay for me to be in the kitchen. All the time I’m just frightened that dad will see me. This frantic feeling runs through the whole dream. The dream ends as I want to go back into my room again. (1f/7P)

 

I have noticed that the badger dream also took place in my parents’ home and that in both dreams I was still living in the family home, and not just there for a visit. (I have been living in my own apartment for the last 1 _ years). In the dreams the rooms looked identical to how they are in real life. (1f/P)

 

I don’t usually have nightmares: I fell asleep and began to feel frightened that I wouldn’t be able to control my thoughts. I went through the dark apartment and woke my mother. Light improved the situation and my thoughts came to a halt. (6m/9)

 

I am sitting at a large table, with a group of people who have been invited there to celebrate an occasion: there are people from all over the world, including my parents, and also my brother....

(6m/15P)

 

Then I go to the edge of the balcony and look down at the sea. I can see two large rats in the sea and shout to the others how ghastly they are. Suddenly an enormously long, red anaconda surfaces from the depths and everyone, including me, is startled. My mother jumps into the water to take a look at them. I shout after her not to do it, but the snake has already encircled her and strangles her. I scream, try to do something and come across a rifle. Nobody else lifts a finger. The snake disappears with my mother into a tunnel, and I shoot after it. The shot causes the snake and tunnel to go up in fire. It is not possible to rescue my mother. I am left with the impression that my mother is still alive, but that tests are going to be carried out on her while she’s still inside the snake. At the entrance door where this is taking place I meet 2 friends, also medical students, who are on guard. (6m/15P)

 

My mother is driving the car and has to brake hard suddenly. I’m flung out of the car and am thrown quite a distance: beneath me are vines with trellises running parallel and as I’m flying through the air I wonder how my fall is going to be. I try to land causing as little damage as possible, i.e. I plunge into the vines and brake with my left hand. As I land I notice that I have hardly any injuries, except for a cut on the left hand. They take me to the hospital, my mother is driving too slowly, and very badly. My father is sitting in the back, pretty annoyed with her and wants to take over the driving. (6m/19P)

 

My sister is at home with her leg in plaster. She has something between a plaster, which allows the patient to walk, and one that restricts the patient from moving about.

 

A friend from the past pays a visit to the family home. My young sister is laid up in plaster in her room. I am in my old room from my childhood. My friend stays sitting in the kitchen; my mother is busy cooking, my brothers and sisters are also there; there are cats all over the place; one of the cats falls into the pan with spinach in. Then I say that I won’t eat at home anymore. The cats are thrown out of the window. (9f/6)

 

Sweets

 

And the yearning for sweet things is still there! And follows me into my sleep, and I dream about vanilla croissants and other sweet things, so that I wake up in the morning with incredible hunger and can’t stop thinking about sweet things the whole day. This improves when I eat something sweet. (4f/3)

 

(Explosive) weapons

 

Suddenly a woman throws a bomb into the coach and drives away in her car ...

On the way I see some armed men, who are at a wedding/party. I speak to a senior man and explain what has happened. He immediately calls for a friend to come along. Feel protected by both of them although I am still frightened of the woman... We carry on walking to a kind of children’s playground. There is a circle in the middle, in which many people are running. My ‘grandfather’ is running with the woman as well. I am with them to begin with, but then become fearful, because once again there are so many people in one place and I think that she’s going to attempt another attack. Which she does. She runs outside the circle, the first attempt missed the target, so that ‘my grandfather’s’ friend can shoot her, but doesn’t kill her. Her second attempt is successful and I am the only survivor once again. Devastation all around, lots of burnt bodies lying around, the woman walks around and checks whether they are all really dead, I am petrified, pretend to be dead and she doesn’t spot me ... In the meantime I have found out that she is having psychotherapy treatment with the sister of a friend of mine, and that the woman sees her attacks as ‘school-work’ that she has to carry out. (out of 100 planned mass murders she has only carried out 40 !) (8f/26P)

 

 

Vertigo

 

Vertigo, 'Queasy', muzzy - and dead tired with it

 

Feel dizzy and sometimes feel like the earth is swaying under me. When I fix my gaze on an object it starts to move. I have a lie- down in bed again at lunchtime, take a while to get warm and am completely worn out. When I stand up I feel very dizzy again. When I stand up quickly, everything turns black. I feel better into the afternoon and evening. (8f/9P)

Get up in the morning as usual and feel well to begin with - but then the dizziness starts again. I also feel completely dazed, sometimes don’t understand what is going on around me, can’t think straight, detached, as if I’m wrapped in cotton wool. Go back to bed again at midday, completely worn out. (8f/10P)

Slight dizziness and a bit shaky at approximately 11.00am, with weakness and the need to eat something immediately to relieve these symptoms. (9f/6)

Slight dizziness again in the morning, a bit shaky, nervous, jittery, like I’d drunk too much strong black tee - revved up. Legs somewhat weak.

Increased weakness when walking fast, dizziness. (9f/8)

Somewhat nervous, jittery, dizzy and nauseous (as if I’d have to be sick) after enjoying half a litre of green tea around 10.00 am.

A mild, dull headache in the temples after a walk at 12.00 midday, weakness and again the feeling that this weakness could be remedied by eating (But I just ate beforehand.) (9f/16P)

Around 4.00 pm mild headache in the temples again, mild dizziness. Lasts until around 5.00 pm. (9f/28P)

Severe rotatory vertigo (something I never get). (10f/P)

 

Detached, wrapped in cotton wool

 

Get up in the morning as usual and feel well to begin with - but then the dizziness starts again. I also feel completely dazed, sometimes don’t understand what is going on around me, can’t think straight, detached, as if I’m wrapped in cotton wool. Go back to bed again at midday, completely worn out. (8f/10P)

 

Rotatory vertigo

 

Severe rotatory vertigo (something I never get). (10f/P)

 

Vertigo when standing up suddenly; when walking fast

 

When I stand up I feel dizzy again. When I stand up quickly everything turns black. I feel better into the afternoon and evening. (8f/9P)

Increased weakness when walking fast, dizziness. (9f/8)

 

Balance is not as good during yoga

 

Balance is not as good during yoga. (11f/4)

 

Earth is swaying, objects move when fixing gaze on them, the wall is closing in on me

 

Feel dizzy and sometimes feel like the earth is swaying under me. When I fix my gaze on an object it starts to move. (8f/9P)

While sitting I suddenly have the feeling as if the wall to the right of me was moving towards me. (8f/20P)

 

 

Headache

 

I got a headache on the 5th day. But totally different to the ones I’m used to. It started in the morning after waking (but I didn’t wake up because of it), increasing in strength as the morning progressed and was gone after lunch. Mild in intensity; located in the occiput, radiating to the neck and both temples, just under the scalp. I can’t answer the question as to ‘how’ it is. It felt similar to after having slept in the wrong position, making my head and neck stiff in the morning. Better: Sitting, distraction, ascending stairs. Worse: Walking straight ahead. (1f/5P)

Mild headache in the afternoon (around the frontal sinuses). (2f/1)

From midday superficial headache (left sided neuralgia; two cervical vertebrae were released the day before - is there a connection? (2f/7)

Head symptoms as the previous day, increasing tendency towards extreme tension in the trapezius. (2f/8)

From midday onwards some tension headache, eases about an hour after finishing work. (2f/23P)

Despite sleeping for a long time I am still very tired and worn out, and later on I have a headache (right temple, pulsating pain, better from pressure and massaging neck/upper back). (8f/24P)

Mild, dull headache in the temples until around 3.00 pm. (9f/6)

Mild, dull headache at 12.00 midday after a walk. (9f/16P)

At 4.00 pm mild headache in the temples again. (9w/19N)

Mild pain in the temples at midday. Pains increase somewhat in the fresh air - mild breeze - while walking.

More severe headache at 3.00 pm, feeling my head will explode when bending down. The pains last until I go to bed. (9f/21P)

Mild headache again in the morning, as yesterday. Gone by midday. (9f/22P)

Stabbing yet bearable headache in the area to the left at the back (around the petrous bone), in the late afternoon. (12m/1)

Pain in various parts of the body, come and go very quickly e.g. headache left temple for approximately _ seconds, like stabbing or an electric shock. (13m/6)

Headache from midday onwards: Forehead, throbbing, more to the left. Worse from motion; bending down increases the pain. In the afternoon (approximately 4.00 pm) a pressing pain in the head, from the sides inwards, stronger on the left. No headache the following morning (unusual: usually the headache is still there in the morning). (14f/4)

Mild headache again from midday : throbbing, pulsating, stronger on the right side; more severe in the evenings again; gone by the following morning. (14f/5)

Pressure behind the eyes, mild frontal headache, irrespective of body position. (15f/1)

Headache is of no consequence now. (15f/2)

Headache is temporal at this point in time [C: 5.00-8.00 pm], on both sides. Ameliorated by running. (15f/15)

 

In the temples

 

Despite sleeping for a long time I am still very tired and worn out, and later on I have a headache (right temple, pulsating pain, better from pressure and massaging neck/upper back). (8f/24P)

Mild, dull headache in the temples until around 3.00 pm. (9f/6)

A mild, dull headache in the temples after a walk at 12.00 midday. (9f/16P)

At 4.00 pm mild headache in the temples again. (9f/19P)

Mild pain in the temples at midday. Pains increase somewhat in the fresh air - mild breeze - while walking.

More severe headache at 3.00 pm, feeling my head will explode when bending down. The pains last until I go to bed. (9f/21P)

Mild headache again in the morning, as yesterday. Gone by midday. (9f/22P)

Pain in various parts of the body, come and go very quickly e.g. headache left temple for approximately _ seconds, like stabbing or an electric shock. (13m/6)

Headache is temporal at this point in time [C: 5.00-8.00 pm], on both sides. Ameliorated by running. (15f/15)

 

 

Face, Eye, Ear

 

Red face

 

Face as red as a beetroot after the gym, particularly the cheeks (this is normal), but this reddening of the face goes on for hours on end. When touching the cheeks the skin feels sore, burning, hot, like sunburn. (1f/14P)

 

Dry Lips

 

My lips are very dry, rough and split easy. They are no better after lubricating them. (8f/6P)

Lips become even more raw, sore, feel split. (8f/7P)

Lips are not improving, and now also a mild rash around the lips, small dots, reddish, which are already apparent from a distance. Particularly around the corner of the mouth. (8f/9P)

 

(Rash around the) Eyes

 

For a long time my skin eruptions have been very intense again generally - particularly very painful on the eyelids. (8f/24P)

Small rash under the eyes (particularly the left) - small red spots on rising. (10f/2)

Eyes feel stuck together. |(10f/approx. 30P)

Slightly swollen eyes in the morning. (15f/11)

 

Stabbing in the ears

 

Brief, mild stabbing pain, alternating between left and right ear, with long intervals in-between. (2f/2)

A stabbing pain in the ears, which came on straight away, on the way home after a swim at the baths - alternating left and right (I never get this usually). (10f/25P)

Since then, symptoms for over a week again, particularly evenings ... occasional stabbing in the ears, particularly during the day. (10f/approx.30P)

(After consultation) antidoted with a single dose of Sepia Q5 [C: because of toothache]. Earache still from time to time since then, lasting a short time. (10f/approx.40P)

 

 


 

Mouth and Throat

 

Sore areas on the roof of the mouth, open, 'raw' mucous membranes in mouth and lips, apthae.

 

Small cold sore inside the right cheek in the evening. (2f/13)

Since today I have a sore spot on the roof of the mouth, just behind the incisors at the side. This area burns and feels extremely unpleasant when I’m eating. (4f/3)

And the sore patch on the roof of the mouth is also still there. (4f/4)

The sore spot on the roof of the mouth is still there. (4f/5)

The sore spot on the roof of the mouth is also still there. It itches and is painful. (4f/6)

The sore spot on the roof of the mouth is still there. (4f/7)

The sore spot on the roof of the mouth cleared up immediately as soon as I stopped taking the globules. (4f/P)

Early in the morning, pain in the mucous membranes in my mouth and an exposed feeling (right interior upper lip). I can see a small light, blister. (8f/4)

 

Bright red margin around the teeth

 

Dentist appointment - bright red margin around the gums, especially lower jaw, as if swollen, gingiva is usually very pale - otherwise teeth are okay, no leaky fillings. (10f/6P)

Dental problems only occasionally in the evenings. The margin around the teeth is becoming distinctly paler (although still visible). (10f/25P)

 

Dry mouth and throat with unquenchable thirst

 

Throughout the whole day I have really extreme, almost unquenchable, thirst and also an extremely dry throat. (4f/2)

Once again I have an almost unquenchable thirst and an extremely dry throat which lasts the whole day. (4f/3)

Extreme thirst and a dry throat. (4f/4)

Extreme thirst and a dry throat. (4f/5)

I still have great thirst and in the afternoon I was out and about and suddenly really felt like I was going to die of thirst, it was particularly strong. I had to buy something to drink immediately as my throat was totally parched. My thoughts were revolving around getting something to drink and I couldn’t get rid of them until I had drunk something. This is how it must feel in the desert!! (4f/6)

Very dry sensation in the mouth, great thirst (more than usual). (10f/1)

Very parched. (10f/2)

Small amount of urine (despite drinking a lot), extremely dried up (particularly the mouth; a feeling as if my tongue is swelling up. (10f/3)

Noticeably dry mouth during work out on the exercise bike in the gym. (15f/7).

Feel very well, dry mouth again during work-out. (15f/8)

Good general state of health, despite little sleep. still have a rather dry mouth. (15f/13)

 

Heartburn

 

Heartburn after eating chilli (never have usually). (13m/9P)

 

Bad breath

 

I am aware of a particularly 'noxious' mouth odour in the morning on waking. (1f/8-16P)

 

 

Teeth

 

Toothache, as if food was trapped

 

Beginning of the toothache - Sensation as if food was trapped in the bottom left side of the mouth (which was not the case however). Later this unpleasant sensation also extended out to the front upper jawbone. In various parts of the mouth I had the sensation as if the teeth were loose, particularly as I was falling asleep, or once I woke up in the night I was unable to fall asleep again. (10f/5)

Toothache is better (the sensation of having to bite on something has improved). There is only discomfort in the bottom left hand side.

Dentist appointment - bright red margin around the gums, especially lower jaw, as if swollen, gingiva is usually very pale - otherwise teeth are okay, no leaky fillings. (10f/6P)

Toothache continues, particularly at night; relatively pain-free during the day. Sensation of food trapped for a while again in the evening, better from eating. (10f/7-12P)

Dental problems only occasionally in the evenings. The margin around the teeth is becoming distinctly paler (although still visible). (10f/25P)

Went to the swimming baths - in the evening this unpleasant toothache again, particularly on the left hand lower side again; feeling that something is twinging. (10f/27P)

Antidoted with a single dose of Sepia Q5 (after a consultation) - the toothache actually disappeared on the same day.

Took Sepia Q5 again (a week later) after another episode of toothache. (10f/approx. 40P)

 

Teeth feel loose, better for clenching them

 

Beginning of the toothache ... alternating between various parts of the mouth I had a sensation as if the teeth were coming loose, particularly as I was falling asleep, or rather once I woke up in the night I was unable to fall asleep again. (10f/5)

Toothache, feel I need to clench my teeth, which helps. (10f/6P)

 

Sensations in the teeth

 

Teeth are becoming a topic. No pain, more like mouth currents or a pulling sensation, most noticeable on the upper jaw. (15f/22P)

Conscious of the teeth in a strange way, up to the roots. (15f/23P)

Conscious of all my teeth from time to time, no pain. Especially evenings. (15f/24P)

 

 

Stomach

 

Heartburn

 

Heartburn after eating chilli (never have usually). (13m/9P)

 

Unquenchable thirst with dry mouth and throat

 

Throughout the whole day I have really extreme, almost unquenchable, thirst and also an extremely dry throat. (4f/2)

Once again I have an almost unquenchable thirst and an extremely dry throat which lasts the whole of the day. (4f/3)

Extreme thirst and a dry throat (4f/4)

Extreme thirst and a dry throat. (4f/5)

I still have great thirst and in the afternoon I was out and about and suddenly really felt like I was going to die of thirst, it was particularly strong. I had to buy something to drink immediately as my throat was totally parched. My thoughts were revolving around getting something to drink and I couldn’t get rid of them until I had drunk something. This is how it must feel in the desert!! (4f/6)

Very dry sensation in the mouth, great thirst (more than usual). (10f/1)

Very dry mouth still and constant thirst. (10m/25P)

 

Thirst for cold drinks

 

I quenched my thirst with cold drinks, tending towards water, or mineral water. The desire for cold drinks was definitely greater than for warm (although I tend to be more of a tea drinker usually and drink a lot of tea during the day!). (4m/P)

 

 

 

Abdomen

 

Meteorism, 'Knot in abdomen'

 

My bowels are rebelling ie I am constipated, and when I lie down to go to sleep in the evening all my thoughts revolve around my bowels and it feels that somehow there is a knot in there. Can hardly fall asleep as I feel like I’m going to explode, and am close to tears. Then I put a hot water bottle on my abdomen, which relieves a little. (4f/2)

I am still constipated and my abdomen is distended as well. (4f/3)

I continue to have a distended abdomen and am still constipated. (4f/4)

I also continue to be constipated and have a distended abdomen. (4f/5)

And I am also still constipated and full of wind. (4f/6)

The sore spot on the roof of the mouth cleared up immediately as soon as I stopped taking the globules. But I am still constipated and full of wind. And this desire for sweets and the terrible thirst has returned to normal. (4f/P)

Meteorism again. (10f/3)

Slight sensation of lead in the abdomen. (11f/5)

The sensation of ‘lead belly’ and meteorism again in the evening. (11f/8)

 

 

Rectum

 

Foul smelling flatulence

 

From today, severe, strong-smelling flatulence, lasting a few days. (2f/18)

My bowels are rebelling ie I am constipated, and when I lie down to go to sleep in the evening all my thoughts revolve around my bowels and it feels that somehow there is a knot in there. Can hardly fall asleep as I feel like I’m going to explode, and am close to tears. Then I put a hot water bottle on my abdomen, which relieves a little. (4f/2)

I am still constipated and my abdomen is distended as well. (4f/3)

I continue to have a distended abdomen and am still constipated. (4f/4)

I also continue to be constipated and have a distended abdomen. (4f/5)

And I am also still constipated and full of wind. (4f/6)

The sore spot on the roof of the mouth cleared up immediately as soon as I stopped taking the globuli. But I am am still constipated and full of wind. And this desire for sweets and the terrible thirst has returned to normal. (4f/P)

Considerable flatulence, loud and extremely foul-smelling, which began in the afternoon and was worse in the evenings. (13m/3)

Flatulence has gone in the morning, appearing again in the afternoon, and at it’s worst in the evenings. (13m/4)

Flatulence as above, worse after eating and evenings, better in the morning. (13m/5)

Still have flatulence. (13m/6)

Flatulence subsiding. (13m/8P)

 

Constipated

 

My bowels are rebelling i.e. I am constipated, and when I lie down to go to sleep in the evening all my thoughts revolve around my bowels and it feels that somehow there is a knot in there. Can hardly fall asleep as I feel like I’m going to explode, and am close to tears. Then I put a hot water bottle on my abdomen, which relieves a little. (4f/2)

I am still constipated and my abdomen is distended as well. (4f/3)

I also continue to be constipated and have a distended abdomen. (4f/5)

And I am also still constipated and full of wind. (4f/6)

The sore spot on the roof of the mouth cleared up immediately as soon as I stopped taking the globuli. But I am am still constipated and full of wind. And this desire for sweets and the terrible thirst has returned to normal. (4f/P)

 

Foul-smelling stool

 

My stool has a similar 'noxious', pungent, odour [C: as mouth odour]. (1f/10-14P)

 

 

Female genitalia

 

Menses too early.

 

Menses in the morning - a week too soon! (11f/12P)

 

Menses too late

 

My cycle is never spot-on, usually a couple of days late, but this time it was 36 days (oligomenorrhoea), which is, however, distinctly longer than normal. Besides this, there are a couple of additional reasons that have me convinced that the remedy is responsible for the delay: Sometimes I get a fungal infection on the vulva a couple of days before my period, which lasts until the first or second day of my period. I also got it this time, on time, and it lasted as long as usual and then subsided, without my period having started. From the 10th day both breasts were feeling swollen and sensitive to pressure (I never have this otherwise), continuing until the last day of my period. (1f)

 

 

Painful periods (dysmenorrhoea)

 

Feel a light to medium dragging sensation in right lower abdomen, at the build-up to my period. Sensation as if everything had cramped up inside my lower abdomen.

 

Sensitive to pressure, better for warmth, as also curling up into a ball/squatting.

 

Haven’t had pain like this for a long time, and would only get it during the day, never at night when I’m lying in bed!

 

This time I even wake in the night and lie awake for a while in pain.

 

Pain is a bit better first thing in the morning (at other times it was the exact opposite), but time and time again intense dragging and cramps, that come on suddenly, in the whole of the lower abdomen. No longer any pain in the late afternoon and evening. (8f)

 

 

Breast

 

Mammae

 

From the 10th day [C: of the cycle] both breasts were feeling swollen and sensitive to pressure (I never have this otherwise), continuing until the last day of my period. (1f)

 

 

Extremities

 

Warm, foul-smelling foot sweat

 

I already noticed increased perspiration on both feet on the first day of taking the remedy. Usually in the wintertime I often wear 2 pairs of socks at home, a pair of thin and a pair of thick, hand-knitted woollen socks (instead of slippers). On the 2nd day I manage with a pair of thin socks. By the 4th day the 'sweaty feet' have taken shape quite distinctly. On the 4th day I don’t feel I need to have any socks on at all, but put on a pair of thin ones anyway. Usually, from time to time, I also put on a pair of thin socks in the night, and now don’t need to do that at all any more. Usually I can wear the same socks for a couple of days, and then only wash them because it occurs to me I’ve had them on a while, not because they are sweaty. Now I change my socks every day. The soles of my feet are always somewhat damp and smell slightly similar to Gouda cheese. The perspiration does not damage the skin, there is no discolouration. It’s very embarrassing for me if I’m invited somewhere where I have to take my shoes off. I hope people can’t smell my feet. On the 4th day I went for a walk in the evening wearing casual shoes. It was particularly cool; usually my toes would be extremely cold when I get home. Instead they are sweaty today, my socks are so damp that I can see my footprints on the floor. The damp areas are where the shoe was covering the feet. When I touch my feet they feel cold and damp and a little spongy. Over the next few days I also sweat more in the evenings when I take a walk than when I am at home in the daytime. My feet do not sweat when I have no socks on. The foot sweat subsided again from the 10th day and decreases as the days go by, until it disappeared completely on the 17th day. (1f/1-17P)

 

Pain in the shoulder [6] (left)

 

Distinct decrease in the pains in my shoulder. (11f/1)

Continued decrease in the pain in my left shoulder. (11f/2)

Around 80% improvement in the shoulder. (11f/5)

Except for an increase in shoulder pain, no distinguishing symptoms or distinctive features over the next days, as before taking the remedy ... Would like it best if I could carry on taking the remedy. (11f/18P)

 

 

Chill

 

Feeling cold, extreme at the present time - mornings on waking - in the early morning hours

 

The sensitivity to cold from the previous days continues (viral infection?). Better after spicy food at midday (blood pressure?). (2f/1)

Feeling cold just before getting up, in spite of a duvet. (2f/5)

Feeling extremely cold in the morning. It feels like I’m not covered up, lasting approximately 45 minutes - takes a long time for me to get warm. Later on I realise that I already had this chilly feeling in the morning a week ago, but less marked. (2f/13)

Cold in bed during the night. (11f/1)

In the evening before falling asleep feel very cold in bed again. (11f/2)

Feel cold, have a hot bath in the evening. (11f/11P)

Extremely tired and worn out in the afternoon, went to bed, frozen and tired out. (15f/1)

Still occasional shivering, particularly in the morning. (15f/2)

Felt frozen in the night despite being wrapped up warm. (15f/3)

Feeling cold in the morning for a short time. (15f/6)

Very cold in the afternoon. (15f/13)

Frozen during the night despite a warm duvet. (15f/14)

Retrospective comment: The cold feeling that I experienced during the proving was completely new for me, and it hasn’t happened again since then. I would wake up in the early hours because I felt cold, and also felt chilly around 4 pm and couldn’t get warm. There are no symptoms left over from the proving, I feel very well and the ups and downs in terms of energy, from during the proving, are now over. (15f/P)

 

Feeling cold in bed

 

Feeling cold just before getting up, in spite of a duvet. (2f/5)

No feeling cold in the night anymore. (2f/6)

Cold in bed during the night. (11f/1)

In the evening before falling asleep feel very cold in bed again. (11f/2)

Felt frozen in the night despite being wrapped up warm. (15f/3)

Frozen during the night despite a warm duvet. (15f/14)

I woke up in the early hours because I felt cold. (15f/P)

 

Can’t get warm

 

I woke up in the early hours because I felt cold, and also felt chilly around 4 pm and couldn’t get warm. (15f/P)

 

 

Perspiration

 

Night sweats

 

No night sweats anymore (used to get them often in the past - after the baby was born in July 2000). (10f/2)

Slight night sweat. (11f/8)

Disturbed sleep, profuse night sweat again. My nightie was completely soaked! (11f/9)

Profuse night sweat, especially axillae. (11f/11P)

 

(Dream that) back is sweating

 

Dream: On the way back I notice that I am sweating on the upper part of my body, but it also doesn’t really bother me (in front of the others). (6m/18P)

 

Warm, foul-smelling foot sweat

 

I already noticed increased perspiration on both feet on the first day of taking the remedy. Usually in the wintertime I often wear 2 pairs of socks at home, a pair of thin and a pair of thick, hand-knitted woollen socks (instead of slippers). On the 2nd day I manage with a pair of thin socks. By the 4th day the 'sweaty feet' have taken shape quite distinctly. On the 4th day I don’t feel I need to have any socks on at all, but put on a pair of thin ones anyway. Usually, from time to time, I also put on a pair of thin socks in the night, and now don’t need to do that at all any more. Usually I can wear the same socks for a couple of days, and then only wash them because it occurs to me I’ve had them on a while, not because they are sweaty. Now I change my socks every day. The soles of my feet are always somewhat damp and smell slightly similar to Gouda cheese. The perspiration does not damage the skin, there is no discolouration. It’s very embarrassing for me if I’m invited somewhere where I have to take my shoes off. I hope people can’t smell my feet. On the 4th day I went for a walk in the evening wearing casual shoes. It was particularly cool; usually my toes would be extremely cold when I get home. Instead they are sweaty today, my socks are so damp that I can see my footprints on the floor. The damp areas are where the shoe was covering the feet. When I touch my feet they feel cold and damp and a little spongy. Over the next few days I also sweat more in the evenings when I take a walk than when I am at home in the daytime. My feet do not sweat when I have no socks on. The foot sweat subsided again from the 10th day and decreases as the days go by, until it disappeared completely on the 17th day. (1f/1-17P)

 

 

Generalities

 

Symptoms that appear (and disappear) suddenly

 

At midday sudden, stabbing pain in right upper abdomen, can hardly move, only bearable lying quietly on my back, aggravated by movement (including breathing), accompanied by mild nausea, go to the toilet - immediate improvement, no longer any pain. (8f/9P)

A stabbing pain in left elbow joint came on suddenly in the afternoon. The pain comes on when I move a certain way, then stops again suddenly - spreading to the wrist. Later on also a pain in the coccyx area, same modality. (8f/19P)

Time and time again intense dragging and cramps in the whole lower abdomen that come on suddenly [C: during menses]. (8f)

Dull pain in left forearm, radiating, came and went quickly. (13m/5)

Pain in various parts of the body, come and go very quickly e.g. headache left temple for approximately _ seconds, like stabbing or an electric shock. (13m/6)

 

 

 

Symptoms changing location (suddenly)

 

Brief, mild stabbing pain, alternating between left and right ear, with long intervals in-between. (2f/2)

A stabbing pain in the ears, which came on straight away, on the way home after a swim at the baths - alternating left and right (I never get this usually). (10f/25P)

Alternating between various parts of the mouth I had the sensation as if the teeth were loose, particularly as I was falling asleep, or once I woke up in the night I was unable to fall asleep again. (10f/5)

A stabbing pain in the ears, which came on straight away, on the way home after a swim at the baths - alternating left and right (I never get this usually). (10f/25P)

Dull pain in left forearm, radiating, came and went quickly. Pain then moved very quickly to the right occiput and then disappeared (approximately 4.30 pm). Not affected by motion, pressure or warmth (13m/5)

Pain in various parts of the body, come and go very quickly e.g. headache left temple for approximately _ seconds, like stabbing or an electric shock. (13m/6)

 

Left side

 

From midday superficial headache (left sided neuralgia; two cervical vertebrae were worked on the day before - is there a connection? (2f/7)

Nothing noteworthy, tension in the left trapezius in the evening again. (2f/15)

Small rash under the eyes (particularly the left) - small red spots on rising. (10f/2)

Sensation as if food was trapped in the bottom left side of the mouth (which was not the case however). (10f/5)

A stabbing pain in left elbow joint came on suddenly in the afternoon. The pain comes on when I move a certain way, then stops again suddenly - spreading to the wrist. (8f/19P)

This unpleasant toothache again in the evening, particularly left side underneath again. (10f/25P)

Decrease in the pain in my left shoulder. (11f/2)

Headache from midday, forehead, throbbing, more on the left, worse for motion, bending down increases the pain.

Headache from midday onwards: Forehead, throbbing, more to the left. Worse from motion; bending down increases the pain. In the afternoon (approximately 4.00 pm) a pressing pain in the head, from the sides inwards, stronger on the left. No headache the following morning (unusual: usually the headache is still there in the morning). (14f/4)

 

Right side

 

Right-sided inflammation:

1] Day 5: on the right big toe the nail is growing inward, pus is building up.

Around the ingrown nail the area of the toe is red, swollen and painful. This is something I get from time to time, but this time it has lasted a lot longer than usual, up to 17 days, although the toe was not suppurating all this time. The pain was on its way out by the 13th day and a callus had formed. On the 17th day I cut as much of the nail away as possible; the pain stopped from this moment on and the inflammation disappeared completely.

2] Day 9: Since this evening the middle part of my right upper lid, about 1/3rd of the upper lid, has been swollen and red and hurts a bit. On day 11 it is at it’s worst, somewhat improved when I run cold water over it or put a cold, damp cloth on it. On day 12 I notice that the pain has completely disappeared, after going for a jog and a shower (not sure what caused it disappear - cool air, motion or the warm water) But the redness and swelling carried on until day 15.

3] Day 9: I have found a small, inflamed spot, red and painful on the right buttock, which lasted some days.

4] Day 10: The nail wall is suppurating on the right middle finger, as if I had pulled the nail back (which I have not) and it had grown into the flesh. The lesion is painful, red and swollen until day 15. (1f)

Early in the morning pain in the mucous membranes in my mouth and an exposed feeling (right interior upper lip). I can see a small light, blister. (8f/4)

Wake up with a sore throat, right side. Feel as if inhaling cold air when breathing through the right nostril. (8f/6P)

While sitting I suddenly have the feeling as if the wall to the right of me was moving towards me. (8f/20P)

Despite sleeping for a long time I am still very tired and worn out, and later on I get a headache (right temple, pulsating pain, better from pressure and massaging neck/upper back). (8f/24P)

Mild headache again from midday : throbbing, pulsating, stronger on the right side; more severe in the evenings again; gone by the following morning. (14f/5)

Today I am aware of recurring pains in the right hip of a pre-arthritic character. (15f/16)

 

Alternating sides

 

Brief and mild, stabbing pain alternating between left then right ear, with large intervals in-between. (2f/1)

A stabbing pain in the ears, which came on straight away, on the way home after a swim at the baths - alternating left and right (I never get this usually). (10f/25P)

 

Offensive secretions

 

I am aware of a particularly 'noxious' mouth odour in the morning on waking. (1f/8-16P)

My stool has a similar 'noxious', pungent, odour [C.: as mouth odour]. (1f/10-14P)

From today, severe, strong-smelling flatulence, lasting a few days (2f/18)

Considerable flatulence, loud and extremely foul-smelling, which began in the afternoon and was worse in the evenings. (13m/3)

Flatulence has gone in the morning, appearing again in the afternoon, and at it’s worst in the evenings. (13m/4)

Flatulence as above, worse after eating and evenings, better in the morning. (13m/5)

Still have flatulence. (13m/6)

Flatulence subsiding. (13m/8P)

I already noticed increased perspiration on both feet on the first day of taking the remedy... By the 4th day the 'sweaty feet' have taken shape quite distinctly... The soles of my feet are always somewhat damp and smell slightly similar to Gouda cheese. The perspiration does not damage the skin, there is no discolouration. It’s very embarrassing for me if I am invited somewhere where I have to take my shoes off, I think hopefully people can’t smell my feet. (1f/1-17P)

 

Desire for (soft) sweet food

 

Standing at the sausage counter and can’t make up my mind what to have to eat, and then decide on a ‘Wurstsemmel’ (sliced sausage in a roll) and as soon as I’ve got it in my hand I realise that I actually don’t fancy it. I eat it nevertheless and realise that I absolutely loathe the sausage meat. I would have actually really preferred to have had something sweet. (4f/2)

Even though I’m not hungry I also constantly feel I need to eat something sweet, and am happy and content if I can have some toast and jam, and somehow not satisfied if I eat sliced sausage on bread or a veal cutlet. (4f/2)

And the yearning for sweet things is still there! And follows me into my sleep, and I dream about vanilla croissants and other sweet things, so that I wake up in the morning with incredible hunger and can’t stop thinking about sweet things the whole day. This improves when I eat something sweet. (4f/3)

Craving for sweet food, almost constant; but I’m not prepared to go and buy some ice-cream or something. Instead I pester my brother to go and am then pretty annoyed when he doesn’t go. But the craving for sweet things - strangely enough, only for cakes or tiramisu, ie soft desserts - blocks my thoughts completely. (4f/4)

Still have a craving for sweet things. (4f/5)

After eating an enormous amount of sweet things yesterday the craving is not so strong today. (4f/6)

The desire for sweet things has now gone, at last. (4f/7)

 

Aversion / sensitivity to coffee

 

‘Lead belly’ at lunchtime after coffee. (11f/4)

Sudden aversion to coffee. (15f/2)

Aversion to coffee continues. (15f/3)

Pain in lower abdomen, better in the evening, aversion to coffee. (15f/4)

Seems I can smell coffee in the morning, without any reason. (15f/11)

 

Desire for tea

 

Developed a liking for tea. (11f/7)

Continue to have a liking for tea (am more of a coffee drinker). (11f/8)

 

Desire for cold drinks

 

I quenched my thirst with cold drinks, tending towards water, or mineral water. The desire for cold drinks was definitely greater than for warm (although I tend to be more of a tea drinker usually and drink a lot of tea during the day!). (4f/P)

 

 

Energy

 

Tiredness (evenings) - heavy as lead

 

Very tired during the day. (2f/1)

Pretty tired since the last few days. (2f/2)

Very tired, not able to do much. (2f/10)

Above all feeling tired in the morning (blood pressure?) (2f/11)

Tiredness, as heavy as lead; exhaustion, especially from late afternoon until evening. (2f/13)

Really tired in the evening. (2f/16)

Very tired from the morning onwards, lasting the whole day. (2f/17)

Extremely intense tiredness in the evening. (3m/7)

All of a sudden very tired and grumpy in the afternoon. Feel completely shattered and worn out, don’t feel like doing anything, everything and everyone is getting on my nerves. (8f/3)

Have a lie down in bed at midday, take a while to get warm, feel dead tired. (8f/9P)

Have a lie down in bed at midday, dead tired. (8f/10P)

Despite sleeping for a long time I am still very tired and worn out. (8f/24P)

Am very tired and worn out. (8f/34P)

Felt very tired, ‘done-in’, went to bed early. (10f/2)

Tiredness in the afternoon - slept for 4 hours. (11f/1)

Great tiredness in the afternoon. (11f/14P)

Extremely tired and exhausted in the afternoon. Went to bed, frozen and sleepy.

On getting up felt exhausted. Better from eating in the evening. (15f/1)

Very tired. (15f/2)

Tired, but not exhausted. (15f/3)

Mentally and physically able, although continue to be tired. (15f/4)

Very tired, not able to do much. (15f/10)

Extremely tired, better from midday. (15f/11)

Tired more in the afternoon. (15f/14)

Feel like I’ve not had enough sleep in the morning, despite sleeping until 10.00 am. (11.00 am) (15f/P)

 

Tired, but can’t fall asleep

 

Unusually intense tiredness towards evening. Despite this it is difficult to fall asleep - takes about 2 hours (I have not experienced sleep disturbance otherwise for some years). (14f10P)

 

Extreme exhaustion

 

Exhaustion, especially from late afternoon until evening. (2f/13)

All of a sudden very tired and grumpy in the afternoon. Feel completely shattered and worn out, don’t feel like doing anything, everything and everyone is getting on my nerves. (8f/3)

Totally exhausted in the afternoon. (15f/15)

 

Exhaustion alternating with increased productivity

 

Tending towards exhaustion alternating with productivity. (15f/P)

 

Not tired in the evening, can’t sleep, nevertheless full of energy in the morning

 

Go to bed at 11.00 pm but am actually not tired. I toss and turn, and wake up repeatedly in the night; am very restless and at 6.00am already feel charged up with energy. (6m/1)

 

More active in the evening than usual

 

Tired - but have done a lot. Energy is very good again in the evening. (11f/6)    

Tiredness during the day, more energy in the evening again. (11f/7)

More energy again in the evening. (11f/9)

 

Wide awake in the evening, thoughts flowing

 

Lie down to sleep in the evening, but then am wide awake (I really NEVER have problems getting to sleep). I lie in bed awake, then phone up a colleague, then still lying there awake I feel restless, agitated, thoughts coming into my head, not really understanding why. I fall asleep after midnight. (12m/2)

 

Generally more energy than usual [7]

 

Feel good and full of energy. (2f/6)   

Feel good, am full of energy (2f/20)     

Go to bed at 11.00 pm but am actually not tired. I toss and turn, and wake up repeatedly in the night; am very restless and at 6.00am already feel charged up with energy. (6m/1)

30% to 40% more energy. (11f/5)

I unfortunately no longer have the feeling of being charged with energy that I experienced during the proving. I would like to continue taking the remedy. (11f/P)

Overall, during this time, I have felt full of energy, very self confident, was in a good frame of mind, and I managed to get a lot done. (13m/P)

Mentally strong. (15f/4)

 

Light and full of energy

 

Continue to feel free and light, and full of energy. (11f/7)

 

 

 

Vitis vinifera proving

(Vitis viniferae cum fructibus – Red wine from the Ahrtal, Germany) [J. W]

 

The proving journals

The following study deals with the listing of the original proving symptoms. I have used thematic headings in the chapters to provide better access to the ‘disturbance of the vital force’, specific to Vitis. In front of each symptom is the provers number, followed by the potency, and then the day it first appeared and, when available, the time of day. The first day is ‘O’. 11 is the only male prover.

 

Mind

 

Isolated - Apathetic - Indifferent- Subdued - Slowed down - Composed

 

1.30.1

Feeling cut off,  from people and events around me and also from my own feelings. I am not really involved, nothing really gets through to me.

1.30.18

Feel floppy, subdued, apathetic. Feeling ‘bored with life’. Nothing really affects me, feel neither joy nor sadness.

1.30.21

I am apathetic and subdued.

1.30.22

Distortion of perception, several times during the day, each time lasting half a minute: blurred vision, vertigo. The impression: people and things are moving slower, including myself.

1.30.22

I continue to be subdued, slightly depressed, I feel nothing (lasts for a week).

1.30.28

I have decided to discontinue the proving today as a result of my emotional state. From my experience of taking homeopathic remedies in the past I am aware that I react strongly to them. My impression has been that since the beginning of the proving the energy available for me has been steadily dipping. There was a constant increase in physical and psychological tiredness, which finally expressed itself in the last week in problems with my circulation and distortion in my perception, which is extremely unusual for me. I had the impression that this remedy disturbed my rhythm of life to a great degree. The time when I have most energy is generally the evening, and I was deprived of this by the early evening and often experienced sudden tiredness.

As this symptom disappeared immediately after drinking a coffee to discontinue the proving, it seems obvious that it could have only been attributed to the remedy.

10.30.1.6:40

I takes me a while to get going.

10.30.3.6:40

It’s taking me a long time to wake up today.

I’ve got the impression it’s taking me a long time getting things done this morning.

10.30.23.9:30

I look out of the window. It has been snowing. The house is quiet. I can hear an ambulance and the fire brigade outside. I also feel detached from the goings on in the world here as well. I even fall asleep for 20 minutes while sitting.

11.30.8

My supervisor phoned. She sounded in a bad mood, I couldn’t care less.

10.30.0.14:15

I’m absolutely tired out again and have a lie down on the sofa, sleep soundly until 3.00 pm.

I am not really affected by what the children say, although I take note of it.

6.30.50

Regarding my work morale:

Not very conscientious, just do what is necessary, like to take it easy, almost too much. It doesn’t bother me that I haven’t even made a start on all the things I intended to do.

 

Sitting still - Pondering

10.30.3.11:30

Want to sit down, sit quietly and ponder.

 

Asceticism - Abhorrence

11.30.13

Aversion to cigarette smoke. I am frequently overcome with a peculiar feeling of abhorrence yet I experience pity when I see others smoking. It is really evident to me how addiction eats away at people. Probably a more intense feeling because I was once into asceticism.

 

Contact - Communication - Cheerful - Fun - Pleasure

2.200.10.50

Retrospective observation:

It was obvious that I was feeling a lot calmer and relaxed, and others could see it in me.

In the foreground there was mostly an increase in communication, feeling well adjusted and cheerfulness.

2.200.0.21:30

I am in a very cheerful frame of mind this evening. I am relaxed and communicative.

2.200.2.16:00

I feel well in general, open and communicative, calmer than usual.

2.200.5.7:00

Feel fit and full of energy, but also nervous.

Deal with the work waiting to be done in a hectic manner, a lot of inner restlessness.

2.200.8.13:00

Full of energy again at the dance course and am enjoying learning.

2.200.10.9.00

A lot of energy and in the mood for work despite feeling like I’ve got a cold.

11.30.4

Really can’t be bothered with my supervisor, would like to have nothing to do with her and keep in touch only when I feel like it.

11.30.6

Don’t feel like making contact at all. They are too boring for me (seminar participants).

3.30.4

Feel well-adjusted psychologically, but no pleasure in my Tao seminar, putting up resistance.

11.30.11

I am not very communicative when in contact with others. I am not into arguing. Yet I express my opinions firmly, in a gentle way.

10.30.0.12:30

Am completely calm, able to devote myself to my child (rehearsing for school).

10.30.0.16:15

I take everything with great ease. Not affected by other people’s problems.

12.30.25

Final observation:

In my family and work life there is always a lot going on. Particularly before Christmas. On the one hand I enjoy all these activities, on the other I am overcome with a kind of anxiety that excessive demands will be put upon me. Anxiety that I won’t get it all done, don’t have things under control. Then I usually fall into a kind of depression, which is not visible to others.

This sequence of events did not take place this year and everything went well, thanks to the proving remedy! I took everything much calmer, things were flowing well. I was not so inhibited and insecure.

 

Clear - Focused - Decisive

5.200.37

I often think about taking the remedy again. It’s by my bed and I often hold it in my hand because I think it’ll help me.

I am becoming more decisive, I re-experience emotional connections from the past with great clarity, as if a curtain had been pulled aside. It is painful, but it moves into the distance, as if in a different life.

2.200.10.50

Retrospective observation:

It was obvious that I was feeling a lot calmer and relaxed, and others could see it in me.

In the foreground there was mostly an increase in communication, feeling well adjusted and cheerful.

6.30.50

All in all during the proving I was able to make many decisions with a clear head. I purchased a new car, have created better boundaries for myself in the family. I was so clear about my decisions that no-one could doubt them.

12.30.0.12:00

Concentration is better. Better at reading a book, without falling asleep.

12.30.3.11:00

Considerably easier to do day-to-day things than before the proving. I feel resilient and composed.

10.30.15

I feel very efficient.

 

2.200.10.18:00

What astonishes me is that I feel full of energy despite feeling like I’ve got a cold. Can work and am very focused.

 

Confusion - Difficulty concentrating - Beside myself - Mistakes - Fog - Trance - Stupid in the head

1.30.1

My knees feel like they don’t belong to my body, a little like they had been pumped up, not painful.

1.30.21

While walking I suddenly got an optical impression that the ground beneath me was swaying and caving in, > sitting.

2.200.8.13:00

Not able to concentrate at work and exhausted.

I feel very tired at midday, also still exhausted after an afternoon nap.

2.200.9.10:00

I slept for a long time, but feel very exhausted, not capable of concentrating on my work. I would prefer not to have to do anything at all and flap (like a chicken) between the kitchen and the office without accomplishing much.

Strong feelings of grief again, the first time since taking the remedy, feels more like a paralysis of energy.

6.30.Day 7,8,&9!

I am too confused to write anything down.

6.30.11

I can think and write again in an organised manner today, the confusion has subsided.

8.Plac.0.12:45

Somehow I don’t feel in my body today. In the shop I had the feeling I was going through the motions of shopping but wasn’t really there.

9.Plac.0.8:05

Feeling as if I was wrapped up in cotton wool (as if I’d taken valium).

9.Plac.0.9:55

Feeling as if someone else was fastening my shoelaces.

9.Plac.4.12:20

I want to phone my brother, dial a number. As the phone rings at the other end I realise that I have dialled the wrong number. I think about which number I dialled and realise that I dialled a number that has not existed for two and a half years.

9.Plac.29

Since the proving I am aware that I am getting words mixed up frequently or mix up the first letters of two words.

10.30.0.10:40

Drag myself around the flat, tired and floppy.

Difficulty reading, head is muzzy, almost as if in a trance.

And what do I do with the morning now?

Read pharmaceutical publicity and don’t understand what has been written.

11.30.4.

I am driving to a seminar. During the journey I begin to doubt whether I am going to the right town. I look for the directions; I have left everything at home.

12.30.0.10:00

Try to read a book. But I keep falling asleep all the time. On one occasion I wake up with such a terrible shock, that a violent jerk goes right through me

10.30.0.11:10

Can’t find my journal. I am not usually so forgetful. Could I have lost it?

10.30.2.21:00

Can’t keep my eyes open when reading at my desk. I don’t understand what I have just read.

10.30.10.17:30

Feel stupid, can’t find the book I am looking for.

 

Absent-minded

5.200.0

I’m a bit absent-minded, but composed when working.

5.200.4

Have slight nausea, doubt myself and feel tired and exhausted.

Am very absent-minded.

 

Flapping like a chicken

2.200.9.10:00

I slept for a long time, but feel very exhausted, not capable of concentrating on my work. I would prefer not to have to do anything at all and flap (like a chicken) between the kitchen and the office without accomplishing much.

Strong feelings of grief again, the first time since taking the remedy, feels more like an immobilization of energy.

 

Time (mistakes in) - Appointments - Young - Old - Beautiful

2.200.9.17:00

Feeling exhausted before and after midday nap. I am shocked that the day is almost over.

3.30.7

Feel stressed, everything is too much, not enough quiet time, too many leisure activities.

3.30.25

Lacking concentration very much when driving the car in the morning. The feeling of dashing through the days that I have had over the last weeks is very noticeable - too many things, people and appointments placing demands on me.

As I get home around 1.00 pm I notice there are a lot of dishes from the previous evening that need washing up. A friend is due to come round for a coffee at about 4.00 pm and then the family to celebrate Christmas Eve at around 8.00 pm. While I’m washing the dishes I’m realising that it’s probably not going to work out time-wise. I can accept the fact that I will actually have to be talking to someone soon, but feel completely swamped and in some sense have lost the plot. As my friend arrives I am actually not in a position to chat to him. I am not able to think. I need a long time to understand a simple question and am only concerned with what is going on for me. It makes me feel anxious. I don’t want to see anyone. He leaves worried and I tell him I have had too much going on recently and this is the result of it all.

After he has left I lie down in bed even though I am not tired. It’s all too much for me, I need somewhere to shelter. The thought of visitors puts me in such an immediate panic that I contact my parents and cancel.

I feel the immense pressure growing in me when I am on the phone, and start to cry. I cry throughout the whole conversation, explaining it’s just all too much for me, and that I would prefer not to see anyone. I already fell better for crying.

After the phone call I lie on the bed in the dark and the panic circles in my head, the feeling of cracking up, not being able to cope with anything else, everything is too much. I want to escape from every stimulus, every demand and I wonder how I am going to carry on. At the same time my rational side deliberates whether ‘this is a nervous breakdown, what can you do to switch off, you will have to have peace and quiet’.

In the end a thought comes into the panic that it’s my own fault if I lose the plot because I suppressed my athletes foot, instead of putting up with the symptoms. And then suddenly I had a thought that this could be to do with the proving. The thought alone shatters the panic cycle (I wondered briefly whether I could have taken cannabis or other drugs by mistake, as once, after unwittingly consuming 2 pieces of hash cake, it was impossible to concentrate and I felt that my ability to think were falling to pieces). I suck a Fisherman’s friend (in an attempt to antidote) and try to get in touch with my supervisor in desperation. 15 minutes later I feel considerably better, and also notice that I have abdominal pains and am sufficiently back to my old self, that I am able to get myself to the bath. The attack is finally over after approximately 90 minutes. I feel completely exhausted, but once again ‘feel the ground under my feet’, can think clearly and the panic has gone.

I have never before experienced such a crisis as today, not even in times of extreme stress and at present I am neither under pressure in my private life, nor my work life. After this night I still feel somewhat distressed and can’t integrate what I have experienced. Am I going round the bend or is this a symptom from the proving?

It has distressed me how close sanity and insanity are to each other.

Looking back on the last weeks I feel I have been agitated much more often and have taken on too much.

 

5.200.17

A lot of people have said I look younger. Things are not affecting me as much at the moment, more able to distance myself from things.

6.30.3

A very stressful day, I had lots of appointments. I am irritable, no patience with children.

6.30.50

My sense of time is all mixed up, I am late with everything I’ve arranged. It keeps coming to me as a shock how time is flying by.

10.30.9:20

For the first time ever we get to the nursery so late that we have to ring the door bell.

10.30.0.9:55

Feel I didn’t put the same vigour in getting the housework done as usual, but get it done in time.

10.30.0.10:00

I don’t quite know what to do with my time at the moment.

10.30.0.11:10

I am sitting on the sofa and looking at the colourful red cherry tree and let time pass by (idly).

Feel somehow detached from the dimension of ‘time’.

10.30.2.18:00

Having difficulty with time. Half an hour seems like 10 minutes.

10.30.2.21:00

I keep looking at the calendar because I have noticed that I am having difficulty with time and appointments. I don’t want to forget or miss out on anything.

10.30.3.7:00

I am a day ahead of myself. I put pressure on my son to get up even though he’s not in school early until tomorrow.

10.30.3.7:50

I have been having thoughts of a philosophical nature:

                - What does the ‘I’ in people amount to?

                - To what extent does habit affect people?

                - To what extent can a proving remedy disrupt the normal (almost healthy) balance of a person?

                - Do we first notice the effect in the difference of the rhythm?

                - Can people who don’t have a steady rhythm of life prove remedies at all?

I feel a heaviness that makes me sit down and reflect.

10.30.3.8:00

I experience a disassociation with time.

10.30.3.13.30

I read an article in the ‘Zeit’ magazine. I was particularly interested in the article: Ask Dr. Proust, or In Search of Lost Time (Novel by Marcel Proust).

10.30.4.20.15

I watched the adventure of Odysseus on the television and saw parallels with the proving:

 - Odysseus thought he had been there 5 days, but it was 5 years.

- Odysseus was the first person to use his intellect and to act accordingly. He had to constantly be thinking and acting in different ways (to gouge out the Cyclops’ eye).

10.30.23.18:30

Feel old and stiff.

10.30.23.19:00

Today is the darkest day of the proving. I am thinking a lot and establish that the themes I have been dreaming about are my themes and not those of the proving remedy. ‘Mid-life crisis’!!! For the first time I review the proving, and everything is clear to me.

10.30.25

Final observation:

I look back at a time when I felt how it was to be ‘detached’ from time (in a completely positive way). There was none of the typical pre-christmas stress for me leading up to christmas. I was able to organise my time. All the hustle and bustle drifted past me. I was able to perceive it in others, but didn’t get swept away myself. I was completely calm and was able to draw up a solid plan for my days and weeks ahead, test it out and found it worked well for me.

It was very noticeable that once the proving symptoms subsided things fell back into the ‘old ways’.

11.30.5

I am sitting in a seminar and thinking about how much homeopathy changes people. It makes them beautiful - in a unique way - and young.

 

Depression – Self doubt - Subdued - Meaning

3.30.8

A subdued feeling after a crucial conversation with a woman who has just given birth. Self doubt.

3.30.9

Subdued mood, worried, am annoyed by trivial things.

3.30.11

Very depressed on waking, everything looks grey, negative thoughts about work. No interest in anything, everything is too much. My mood improves as the day progresses, > in company. My mood improves once I take more interest in myself, put on make-up and wear bright colours.

3.30.15

Very bad mood, depressed leading to despair and aggression. Lack of concentration, self doubt, no reason behind it (11.00 am until the evening).

Mood is better after having a bath.

Very impatient and aggressive after being woken in the night.

3.30.19

Subdued mood, flat feeling, > after a walk in the fresh air.

10.30.23

When I asked my son if I can help him because he’s got so much to do he tells me I should do something ‘worthwhile’. I am very offended. I give what he said a lot of thought and have probably taken it too much to heart.

I have the feeling that I am being torn away from work (doing something useful) as soon as I begin anything.

10.30.23

I am almost depressed, everything seems so difficult. Feelings of heaviness (keep crying while making pizza).

 

Aggressive - Irritable

3.30.15

Very bad mood, depressed leading to despair and aggression. Lack of concentration, self doubt, no reason behind it (11.00 am until the evening).

Mood is better after having a bath.

Very impatient and aggressive after being woken in the night.

9.Plac.0.10.05

My car won’t start (I left the lights on). I am fed up as I don’t like driving our van. The thermos flask has fallen over, and is broken.

9.Plac.3.16:30

During an argument with my son I become so furious and start to scream that I am shocked by my behaviour.

11.30.15

Throughout the day irritable more frequently, and quicker than usual.

11.30.15

Quick to anger because my wife arrives an hour late for an engagement.

I confront her straight away and become immediately furious. My feeling is not to rely on others, particularly when they arrive late.

 

Inner peace - Harmony

2.200.7.7:00

Once again a surprising amount of energy, warmth and inner peace.

3.30.1

Considering my stressful work situation I am very well-balanced.

 

Tough exterior

6.30.6.15:00

I went to see ‘7 Years in Tibet’ at the cinema. I am deeply impressed with how Peter Harrer [1] loses his tough exterior.

 

Sensitive - Tearful

6.30.50

I am noticeably more sensitive. Cry very easily when people ask me about things that bother me. I am also not so affected by the suffering of others, that I would let myself be taken advantage of - or put myself second.

12.30.4.19:00

I read my daughter the fairy tale ‘The little match girl’. I was so overwhelmed by the sadness in the story, that I could only carry on reading in fits and starts.

 

Cleaning obsession

10.30.0.9:55

A thought races through my head. Could I be obsessed with cleaning? I want everywhere to be clean, notice every bit of dust on the floor.

 

See-saw process

10.30.24

It becomes clear to me that I am going through some kind of see-saw process at the moment, also sexually, sometimes strong desire and sometimes none at all.

 

Wanting to take the remedy

5.200.66

I keep wanting to take the remedy

 

 

Dreams

 

Prover 10, who is a very reliable prover, experienced particularly intense dreams (before this proving she would only be aware of dreams on rare occasions). She also had a very strong reaction to the remedy in other ways. I have listed her ‘flood of dreams’ according to themes at the end of this chapter and kept them separate from the other provers’ dreams.

 

Cutting the face off - Severing the head - Mutilation - Death, child mutilation - Killing - No face

2.200.10                  Dream

I have cut off my husband’s face with a bread knife, from the hairline to the chin. I feel very detached, more like a doctor operating. I feel neither aggression nor sympathy. More like a feeling of this is what needs to be done.

I am very careful not to cut the carotid artery. That would kill him. In the end I’ve got the whole face in my hand, it is still connected to the neck and I don’t know how to go on. No feelings attached to this, more like an astonishment.

Then I wake up.

 

12.30.12

I wake after a short dream.

It has to do with dead people. Someone has been decapitated with a knife.

 

3.30.7                      Dream

I was at a film preview at the cinema in which an plane crashes (the film is called ‘Mystery’). It explodes in the air and the middle part is spinning fast around it’s own axle. After the crash I notice there is dead man who is half in, half out. A young boy who has survived is crawling behind him; he only has the part of his trunk containing his heart and lungs left, and a (left) stump up to the middle of his upper arm, everything else has been torn off. He’s not bleeding. He is horrified as he begins to realise the extent to which he has been mutilated. Suddenly I am in the film and experience his horror. Then I wake up.

 

3.30.4                      Dream

I visit a couple I have been looking after as a midwife and establish that the baby has died in the uterus.

It is a calm dream, no horror. (This actually happened to a colleague of mine 2 months ago).

 

5.200.2                    Dream

I had a terrible nightmare during the night, someone was going to kill me. I was very tiny in the dream, a shudder went through my body.

 

11.30.7                    Dream

I am standing in front of a villa - a strange building, old, yet a modern design, a lot of glass and high rooms, 3-4 storeys. It’s a magnificent house. It belongs to my aunt and uncle. They want to hand it down to us, but on the condition that we live there as well. I am without any doubt that I could only move in if neither of them were living in the house with us. My wife and daughter go for a walk - the villa is on the edge of a forest. I am standing on the street, a car drives past. I suspect foul play. A man and a woman get out of the car, they have no faces. Dogs get out of the car with them as well. Alsatians. Only one of them poses a threat to me - the largest one. It takes a bite at my right arm, I can’t fend him off. My arm disappears into his maw, up to my elbow. I am okay. At the same time there’s a group of children, about 6-10 years old. They want to take something from me, I don’t know what it is. They pounce on me and want a fight with me. I have to shake them off. They pinch, kick and hit me. I find it necessary to have to hit them back, as I don’t know how else to defend myself. It depresses and torments me.

 

Car - Blood test - To be a man or a woman - Female friend - Dying the hair

9.Plac.3   Dream

When visiting a female friend I dyed my hair black.

 

7.30.0.7:30             Dream

The dream takes place in England. I have parked my car there somewhere. Then the car has disappeared and there is a building site where the car park used to be. People know where the car is, but I have to have a blood test. The blood test is to find out whether I am a man or a woman. Then I don’t get my car back (I am distraught).

 

9.Plac.3                   Dream

When visiting a female friend I dyed my hair black.

 

9.Plac.8                   Dream

I am in the sauna with my husband and female friend. But I only want to go into the steam room with my female friend. As soon as my husband comes in I leave.

 

Marriage - Theatre

9.Plac.2   Dream

I am marrying my husband for a second time. But when I’m in the church I ask myself whether it’s such a good idea to marry him. Friends of ours had already been up to the altar. They were sitting opposite each other on stools. Do they want to present something? They would have to get up again though, as a 35 year old woman was being baptised.

 

Cheating - Discipline - Cigarettes - Lift

2.200.11.                Dream

My daughter and I are sitting at the table, we’re trying to work something out. We’ve got a card with 6 boxes printed on it, and we have to put girls names in the boxes and then assign the names to those of birds. What makes this complicated is that we are supposed to know the girls, but not know them well. This is difficult and we cheat a bit ie we also put names of well-known girls down. Then I wake up. I am surprised about the cheating, as I would normally not cheat in the presence of my daughter.

 

I2.200.14.               Dream

Sitting in a hotel room with Anne and a female colleague, we are working.

The hotel is enormous, lots of floors. We are on somewhere around the 18th floor. I want to go down and get some cigarettes. That’s going to take me ages. The colleague asks me to bring her some herbs from my room.

Reception is right at the bottom, where is my room?? Higher up in the building via long corridors and a lift.

This is going to take a while. I think Anne is going to be fed up if I leave the group for such a long time and won’t want to work with me afterwards. But then I decide to go anyway.

First of all I take the lift to reception. I get confused on the way and am not sure which floor my room is on - because of the herbs. I think that if I go down first of all, I’ll then know where to go. Then I wake up.

 

Gold

5.200.13

Dreams of gold (unfortunately no further recollection of this dream).

 

Tom-cat has a fall - Accidents

5.200.65

After dreaming that my tom-cat had a fall (belly flop) I fall when coming out of a friend’s front door. I’ve grazed and bruised myself and I’m in a lot of pain. My purse has fallen under a car. I pick up all my things and spend the whole evening lying on the sofa with my cat. My thoughts about this: I am getting old. I was talking about the Fountain of Youth and themes to do with addiction today. I will have to keep moving otherwise I will cease up.

 

Building a house - Neighbour’s garden - View

8.Plac.2.                  Dream

We want to build a house. In doing this we would, however, spoil the view, or rather block the neighbour’s view. And so we decide against it.

 

Reading at mass

12.30.25                 Dream

I am supposed to do a reading at mass. Despite a mad rush I arrived a few minutes late. When it was time for me to recite the lesson I could only do so with great difficulty. It was not written at all clearly. Also it was very dark, and there was only dim lighting in the room.

 

Tree on the hillside - Powerful horse

11.30.14                 Dream

I want to go to a homeopathy seminar. I don’t know where it is and who’s organising it. It makes me feel sad, because I don’t want to go to that place. I am standing under a tree on the grass with two other people. The tree is on the hillside. A beautiful, powerful horse gallops up the hillside and gets down on its knees behind me. I sit in front of it and lean my back against the horse. It protects and comforts me.

 

Prover 10’s dream journal

 

Journey - France - Old ruins - Unruly child on the scaffolding - Fall from the 3rd floor to the ground

10.30.0.6:00           Dream

I fall asleep again after the alarm has gone off and then have a nightmare: We are in France, living in a rather old-fashioned place that is falling apart and I am in charge of the catering. For the journey home I take what’s left of the provisions. Then we go back into the town one more time. All of a sudden my son has disappeared. I find him scrambling around on the scaffolding, without any inhibition. He jumps from the 2nd floor and lands jubilantly on his feet. It is time for us to be making a move for our journey home. We’ll make our way back. M. also comes. I make friends with a French woman - she tells me all sorts of things on the way home. But now I have to interrupt her suddenly because I have seen St. - the little rascal - climbing back on the scaffolding. I run after him calling him, and leave the French woman behind. I carry on shouting, louder and louder, that he shouldn’t be messing around on the scaffolding. But then he runs even quicker along the planks and falls off the 3rd floor of the scaffolding, head first. I wake up as he hits the ground. Thank god it’s only a dream!!!

I’m thinking about things longer than I usually do this morning; I never have dreams like this usually! Then I have to get a move on in the bathroom, even here things aren’t working out like they usually do.

 

Indoor swimming pool, lake - Green bathing costume - Cloakroom key - Clothes disappear - No panic

10.30.1.                  Dream

We had gone for a swim together (my husband and I). It was somewhere in an indoor swimming pool quite a distance away, but before then, in a lake. I swam the whole of the time, on my back. It was unbelievably beautiful. I was wearing a green swimming costume. There were colleagues from the past there, but we didn’t speak to each other or make contact. When it was time to go home I couldn’t find the key for the cloakroom. And the locker that I put my clothes in is empty. I’m not panicking at all, trusting that if I look for long enough then I’ll find everything. Somebody says that the clothes were in the train, which had already left and they’d be on it when it returned. I look in the cubicles and lockers and realise that there’s nothing here on wheels. Then I wake, hesitantly. I actually want to carry on looking for them. It takes a while before I come out of the dream into the real world.

 

Spain, on holiday - Quaint wooden wall panelling - Greedy fish - Cloudy water - Caretaker - Toilets - Tram - Track - Bridging with a piece of wood

10.30.2.                  Dream

We’re on holiday (Spain). We’re doing a lot of sight-seeing. We’re in a large Natural History Museum. Very old fashioned, with lots of quaint wooden wall panelling. Amongst other things there are some greedy fish in a pond. They can be fed through a special device so that people can see their teeth. The aquarium is full of fish food. I think that the poor fish will be completely overfed, and the water has already turned cloudy and stinks. There is a lot of commotion in this part of the museum.

There’s a dangerous situation: One of the visitors is a threat to the museum caretaker. The caretaker is, however, unaware of the danger. We want to help - it has something do with hiding a pole, approximately one meter in length. I am not sure whether the caretaker and this peculiar visitor are in cahoots.

I am able to throw the pole down to a landing on the stairs. The exit from the museum is through the toilets. I go there a lot, on one occasion I can’t shut the doors, but this doesn’t bother me. We decide to go back by tram as only some members of the family had finished looking round. The tram comes every hour at 7 minutes past the hour and leaves at 10 past. We think about whether to take the earlier one (just after 6.00 pm) or the later one. We see the tram arriving and leaving. A piece of the track is missing and has been bridged with a piece of wood.

 

Supervisor’s TV - Old contraption

10.30.2                   Dream (2)

My supervisor gives me a television. An old contraption (possibly black and white) but in good working order.

 

Preparations for a party - Defrosting chicken - Unfriendly

10.30.3.                  Dream

I have to prepare the food for a party for a lot of people. I go to the butcher’s as early as 5 days before to find out how long chicken takes to defrost. The staff are very unfriendly, as they’re very busy. They are more interested in selling than giving advice. A female shop assistant says very impolitely: ‘You will just have to get up at 3.00am and defrost them, that’s what we have to do’. I feel quite offended. The slogan being: Excuse me, but you should be allowed to ask for advice when you have to plan things in advance.

 

Choosing furniture - But not wanting to buy - Noticed - Annoyed

10.30.4.                  Dream

We’re looking at furniture. We listen to the advice given, but actually already know that we don’t want to buy anything from them, as we intend to go somewhere else. At some point they notice this in the furniture shop and are annoyed with us.

 

Friend – Bike tour - Domestic obligations - Hats - Moving from ground floor to 5th floor - Old piano - Up the stairs - Down the stairs - Art nouveau, dark wood

10.30.6                   Dream

I am supposed to be spending some time with a male friend. We were supposed to be going on a bike tour and going for a swim. I told him I can’t because I’m busy. I have to take care of my household chores, shopping, cleaning and to help my mother move. She has a hat shop and is moving it from the ground floor to the 5th floor. Piles of hats have to be carried up the stairs, as well as carpets, which also have to be washed. I live where my parents’ old shop used to be, in the attic. My friends are annoyed about my domestic obligations and insinuate that I have overestimated the time I need for the cleaning, and that it is not such a large area. I argue that there is also the washing to do and that I have so much tidying up to do beforehand. In addition I also need to help with the move.

When we come to have a break from carting the hats around and have something to eat (midday) I notice an old piano and I can’t hold back from playing a few notes on it. It ‘s almost like an organ, above the keyboard there is another enclosed keyboard which can be opened to access the lower notes.

The landlord comes and says I have to stop playing, and should carry on with helping with the move. But this is break time, and I am somewhat peeved. Then we carry on with the move, carting things up and down the stairs. To get back down I have developed a fantastic technique for jumping down and we also optimize on carrying the hats.

There are old, art nouveau style iron windows with folding shutters in a dark wood, and generally there’s a lot of dark wood. The room is a triangular shape, how will we get all the hats to fit in. I don’t think it’s such a good idea anyway, having a hat shop so high up in a building. How are the customers (older women) to be expected to get up to the top when there’s no lift. Suddenly I’m getting a bit concerned about the pile of hats, whether some of them might have dents in them.

 

Mind mapping - Theatre square

10.30.6                   Dream

I wanted to take part in a seminar on mind-mapping. I have already received information about it through the post, and lots of forms that can be sent in if you want advice and feedback. Some time later (I didn’t get round to filling in the paperwork and sending it off) I heard that a lot of people attended the seminar (600 participants). I felt sad that I didn’t get round to filling in the forms and post them. Then there’s a complete change of scenery and I am walking in my home town through Theatre Square.

 

Journey in the van - Farmer - Washing lines - Washing lines up to the trees - Sodden mountain meadow - Mountain slope - Dismantled wheels - Roots, tree stump - Down the slope

10.30.7                   Dream

I am in our van, driving to our farmer’s. I always buy fruit and vegetables there. I can also have a nice chat to the farmer’s wife about lots of things, including things to do with the home and things like that. Today we’re talking about the washing. She tells me that she has already hung up her five children’s trousers on the line (4 or 5 full machine loads). As I’d like to stay there longer I hang my washing up as well, on washing lines that go from the bus up to the trees (as when camping).

Change in scenery: Our van is on the hillside on rather sodden ground. The farmer owns the land. The path leading to the meadow is pretty boggy. Where our van has been parked, the ground had been levelled with large rocks so that the van can stay upright. When we come to drive away we notice that our front wheels have been dismantled and the suspension had been damaged. My husband steps into action and gets the farmer’s son to help him. I start to become concerned about whether we can get down to the bottom of the hillside in the van in one piece. In the meantime it starts to sleet and we women have to take the washing in so it doesn’t get wet again. We manage to get this done. On the way down there are some roots and a thick tree stump right on top. The only way to get past would be in a jeep. There are however a variety of small cars driving down the hillside and when they come to this point they just drive alongside the track. I’m just concerned about the width of our van, but my husband says it’ll work out fine.

 

Open day - Painting a friend’s body - Horse on a naked body

10.30.8                   Dream

We’re sitting in a lecture hall. A variety of subjects are covered, similar to an open day - each teacher talking about a topic. I’m full of enthusiasm. Then it’s time for us to draw something. All of a sudden I’m doing a painting on a friend’s body. She wants to have a large A and a horse painted on her naked body. You can see she's enjoying having it done. Her husband keeps popping his head around the door to see how I’m getting on.

 

Tidiness - Cleaning up - Shared house

10.30.8                   Fragment of a dream

At my grandmother’s house. Something to do with tidying up. Hoovering under mattresses. I am sleeping on an old sofa-bed that belongs to my grandmother, in the living room. It is very untidy. A group of people, as if it was a shared house.

 

Journey - Sliding into a hole leading into a cellar

10.30.9                   Dream

Three of us have gone to a study group. As we’re driving home we skid into a hole leading into a cellar. The body work under the car has broken into pieces. I suggest we could stick it together provisionally. There is doubt as to whether it will hold.

 

First communion - Summer festival - Beer at the hairdressers

10.30.10                 Dream

People are celebrating first communion in my village. We are having a stroll through the village. The strange thing is that wherever you look people are having a good time, as if they were at a summer festival where there’s a beer garden. We have a beer at the hairdressers even though we don’t really want to have anything to do with all the fuss over the communion.

 

Trip in the van - Level-crossing - Overtaken

10.30.10                 Dream

We are on our return journey from somewhere or other in our van: we take a left turning in Bach Street, so we can get across the level-crossing. But it’s closed and we have to wait. We park the van appropriately and wait. But then suddenly we are overtaken by trucks and cars. They turn left just before the crossing and drive alongside across the tracks. More and more cars keep doing this. I’m beginning to get concerned about what’ll happen when the train comes!! What one earth are they doing there and why are they doing it!!??

 

Family holiday - Inclining conveyor belt - Fastening shoes together - Engine power - Weight on the shoulders, like a tug-of-war - Revolving door - Three-metre board, not for me

10.30.12                 Dream

We are on holiday as a family, also with some friends and children. We are on bikes on the way to a farm. People can sleep in the hay on the farm. Everyone had to bring a sleeping bag. There is also a swimming pool. The shoes and sleeping bags had to be put on a kind of conveyor belt. When they come to the end the shoes are then tied together into pairs by some kind of automatic mechanical action, and the sleeping bags are folded up or rolled up. I am interested in how the machine works and find out that a great deal of power is needed for the drive propulsion system. The conveyor belts (at least four of them) are in a large, rectangular pit and incline at the end. I am allowed to help a man with one of the belts. We have to pull really hard on an iron chain. It is over his shoulder, goes forwards and I get hold of the end of it, which is hanging down to the ground in front of him. It is similar to a tug-of-war. I pull on it with all my strength, walking backwards. I give it all I’ve got. But there’s not enough momentum. The sleeping bag falls off the end of the conveyor belt again, unfolded. I don’t understand it, he manages to do it on his own, how is that possible? The strange thing about this holiday accommodation is the revolving doors (similar to the ones in Cologne cathedral, only glass outside all around). We have to keep going through revolving doors. The entrance to the main building has doors like this, the swimming pool too. We even have to go through there with the bicycles. I am always a bit anxious when we have to go through these revolving doors. Looking at them from above they remind me of a wheel on my bicycle, the sections that separate the compartments are like spokes. At the end of the holiday, when it’s time to go back home again, we have to round up the children (who had a great time there) as well as the bicycles and take them through these revolving doors again. While doing this, on the stairs I pass the window or exit where the three-metre board is, in the swimming pool. I take a peep and decide that I wouldn’t like to dive from there. When only the bicycles remain to be taken through the revolving door it has suddenly changed. It is now wider and between 20 - 50 cm of it is in the open air. In addition to this there is a corridor alongside it, leading outside, which is curved, everything made of glass and there’s another small revolving door. We are still waiting there for somebody and something. Teenagers are spinning the door round really fast. There’s no need for me to be worried about any of then getting stuck as there’s plenty of room for them. I nevertheless think it’s dangerous.

 

Bus journey - Dealing with everything - Friendliness

10.30.13                 Dream

I was travelling again, holiday, expedition. Exploring a foreign country, travelling on a public coach, coping with dangerous situations. People were very friendly to us wherever we went.

 

Teacher-centred learning - Cough - Mess - Music is explained - Mistakes are okay - Tinsel angel - Asian people in long habits

10.30.14.                Dream

I am at university. We are sitting in class being taught, I thinks it’s maths. All of a sudden I have to cough. I want to get a lozenge out of my bag. My bag is a complete mess, lots of pens, and sweets, and everything falls out of my bag which disrupts the class quite a bit. There’s a splashing sound coming from the benches behind me as if someone is having a pee. Then it’s break time. I stroll with the others through the university building and peep into the lecture halls that are empty. I go into one of them where music is being taught. A piece of music is played in sections on a kind of organ and then explained. A very different lecturing method. People can come and go in the lecture hall. I like this kind of teaching. I see an old classmate from school in another row. I want to meet up with her later for a chat. At the end of the lecture students can volunteer to play the organ, and also excerpts from the music covered beforehand. People can have a go, and it’s okay to make mistakes. This horrifies one female student who turns into a tinsel angel, hanging on the wall. The lecturer is applauded for her lecture and is presented with lots of flowers afterwards. She stuffs them rather disrespectfully into a large saucepan. Then everyone leaves. I carry on strolling through the university and wait for my old classmate. But she is nowhere to be seen. All of a sudden I am in flat similar to a castle. The whole place is full of old furniture; unoccupied by the looks of things. I take a look at everything. When I’m ready to leave I can’t find the exit. Eventually I pick up the courage to ask a couple of people that I meet in one of the large rooms. They are young people, sitting on the floor. Then I find my way out straight away. Outside in the corridors it’s like being on top of a large castle with cannon muzzles in the courtyard. I always wanted to go inside but it was always closed to the public. I take a close look at everything. At all the cannons in the courtyard. Then I leave the building and am back in the university turmoil once more.

 

Running with ease - Stout man - Swimming in a lake in the woods - Taking care of a child - Proud of myself

10.30.18                 Dream

I’m on holiday. At some point I’m jogging across a field. An older, stout man joins me. I’m pleased how little effort I require to run, it’s an amazing feeling in my body. It’s pretty cold outdoors, we want to go for a swim after in a lake in the woods. We are then quite wet (our clothes) and need to change so we don’t catch a chill. Then suddenly I have to take attend to one of my young children, it’s priority. I’m trembling all over from being in wet clothes. It takes quite a long time and I notice how I’m getting warmer and warmer. The clothes have dried on me.

A wonderful feeling. I am somehow proud of myself how I’m coping with everything.

A boy has got Aids

10.30.18                 Fragments of a dream

It is about a group of people (nursery school) and a boy has Aids. The question is how are we going to go about it.

 

Paris – All inclusive - Car disappears - Friendly people - Ticket inspection - Steps that are double the usual height - Chaos - Carrying my son

10.30.20                 Dream

I am in Paris (with my husband, a child and a group of friends). We have booked a holiday with hotel, underground, tickets ...... all inclusive and also time to spend as we wish. We have a car of our own, bright yellow. We drive through the middle of Paris, find somewhere to park and go sightseeing. Then my husband wants to go back to the hotel, but I want to carry on sightseeing.

So we split up. My son stays with me. We look at lots of things until we’re tired. We just about manage to get back to the car park. But the car isn’t there, my husband most probably took it back to the hotel. We go to the underground, where friendly people help us to find what we need and explain about the tickets. Tickets are being inspected on the underground. I’ve lost my ticket, I look in all my coat and trouser pockets and handbag. But I can’t find the (pale yellow) ticket. The ticket inspector carries on. A second ticket inspector comes, I am completely at the end of my tether, but I only need to pay 20 cents as we are just about to pass the zone that the ticket would have been valid in. Then I can get the inspector to stamp a new ticket. I still had some new ones in my bag. People are amazingly friendly to me.

As we were making our way to our hotel, diagonally from the lower right hand side of the city map to the upper left, we found out that my husband and a colleague, who knows Paris well, had taken the car back. I notice houses with steps twice as high as they usually are. I have to carry my son, my bags; it’s all pretty chaotic for me, and everything’s got mixed up in my handbag. But the French are friendly (I wake feeling that the dream is not complete and want to carry on dreaming).

 

Workshop - Visit sister briefly - Wedding dress - Unreliability - Detached

10.30.22 Dream

We want to drive to a workshop, meet someone halfway and then take this person’s car for the rest of the journey. I’ll also be able to visit my sister there, just want to pop in, but then we start chatting. We start to feel tired and have a lie down (my sister, her husband and I in their bed, properly dressed in our pyjamas). After a while my sister gets up and decides to try her wedding dress on again. She maintains that she has put on weight over the last few years and wants to lose some. It occurs to me that what I actually wanted to do was to go to the workshop. I get dressed, it’s all getting to be hectic. I want to put my trousers on over my pyjamas , but it’s all bumpy. What on earth is going on, usually I am so reliable. Will they still be waiting for me outside? In addition, my sister’s children are bothered by me getting dressed, because they want to sleep.

In all of these events I have the feeling that none of this has anything to do with me! I‘m detached from it all!

 

Trituration and proving - Paediatrician, son who is ill - Heartless - Heart prevailing over reason

10.23.24                 Dream

I dream about a study group in which there were non-medical practitioners and a paediatrician. We were discussing trituration and provings. I put my hand up and I have something to say about it. I noticed how my contribution was received favourably and with acknowledgement, even by the paediatrician. Then we want to repertorise a case. It’s a live case, the doctor’s young son actually. He is very ill and the doctor examines him with us all present. In my opinion he is doing this in a very heartless fashion, not at all how you would treat your own son. The little boy is very ill, mucous and pus are oozing out of his ears, his face is red, his mouth and throat have a white coating.

When he has finished we want to repertorise the case. I want to get on with it as well and focus on the most important aspects. But my heart has got the better of me. I ask if it’s alright for me to look after the little boy and take him to bed. He needs to be cuddled and feel cared for sometimes. And of course I am given permission. In that moment I realise that this is just right for me. I come to life, as I carry him in my arm; am able to stroke him, take him to bed, put on a fresh nappy. Then I notice his sore bottom and back, how awful, something should be done about it, where’s there some cream? I look for it and then the doctor’s wife comes. I am happy to be able to hand over the little boy. Now we can get on with repertorising. In fact I now have additional information that will be very useful. (This was a wonderful dream)

 

 

Vertigo

 

Staggering – slowed down

1.30.21

Whilst walking I suddenly had the impression, both as a feeling and visually, that the ground was swaying and giving way, > sitting.

1.30.22

Distorted perception repeatedly during the day, each time lasting half a minute, blurred vision, vertigo, the impression that people and things were moving at a slower pace, myself included.

 

Drank too much (alcohol)

5.200.11

I have been waking between 1.30 and 2.30 am on a regular basis with problems in my head to do with circulation, which frighten me. I get up out of bed, feel like I’ve drunk too much alcohol. Feel dizzy, then I get back to bed again, calm myself down and am able to fall asleep again.

 

Standing in front of the wash-basin - Getting up from the chair

10.30.1.6:40

Mild vertigo and empty sensation in my abdomen when standing in front of the wash-basin.

11.30.7.10:00

Vertigo from my ears upwards (not in the whole of my head) after getting up from the chair.

Pressure in my left breast lasting approximately 10 seconds, it comes and goes. I am somewhat concerned. Nothing has an effect on it.

 

 

Head

 

Itching - Dandruff - Hair loss

10.30.3.7:00

My head is itching dreadfully. More dandruff than normal when combing my hair, also hair loss.

10.30.5.8:00

Intense itching over the whole head, not improved by scratching. Large flakes of dandruff and scabs. Better from a hot shower and brushing hair.

10.30.7.13:30

Dandruff, almost as large as rolled oats, flaking off when scratching my head.

 

Heat

10.30.23.17:00

Heat in my head, yet feeling cold in my body, feel slightly chilly.

 

Bunged up

11.30.12.7:45

I feel ill, bunged up around my forehead. Blow my nose but there’s nothing there.

 

 

Headache

 

Pressure - Wandering - Stabbing

2.200.1.7:30

Pressure in my forehead on waking, the whole forehead initially, then felt more on the left side and later over the whole head.

2.200.1.7:30

The headache starts off in my forehead, then moves around in the front of my head, at times stronger on the right side, at other times in the forehead. Feel the pain ‘deep in my head’.

2.200.1.9:30

Mild twinges in my lower abdomen (ovaries?), starting off mild, right sided, then very noticeable on the left side, with stabbing pain in my right temple simultaneously, then wandering, stabbing pain in my forehead.

2.200.3.10:45

Headache, pressing in my left temple, intense and lasting a long time, with a dull sensation in my head, > lying on my left (painful) side.

2.200.4.12:30

Pressure in my left forehead.

2.200.5.14:00

Pressure in my left temple.

5.200.1

Mild headache which increases gradually, felt as a pressure behind the eyes.

6.30.11

Dull pressure in my head beneath the skull and in my forehead.

Am able to think and write in an orderly fashion again, the confusion has subsided.

8.Plac.0.17:00

Mild pressure in my head behind my forehead and eyes, comes and goes.

Also mild nausea. Feels like the nausea is connected to the metallic taste I am experiencing.

11.30.11.13:00

Ground to a halt by midday and need to have a lie down. Feels like the flu, with some pressure in my left ear.

Also pressure in my head (forehead and skull) and eyes, with drawing sensation in the upper left molars.

 

Fresh air

3.30.19

Walking in the fresh air improves my headache.

 

From neck to the back of the head

3.30.20

Headache on waking which lasts the whole day. It starts at the neck, extending to the back of the head and forehead, more right than left and < from standing up quick. It improves after the evening meal.

 

 

Eyes

 

Warm - Hot

2.200.0.10:00

Heat in the hands and tired eyes.

11.30.13.18:00

I am conscious of my eyes, they feel hot, but I don’t have any fever. Feeling of tension in the bronchial tubes and lungs.

11.30.13.

Sensation of heat internally, particularly in the mouth and pharynx, urethra, stomach and eyes, with a desire for cold water.

But I only drink a little as my body often feels chilled and I would prefer not to have to go out before or after 11.00 am to 4.00 pm.

 

Sensation of a foreign object

11.30.9

During the afternoon I often had the feeling there was a hair in my eye. I check it out but can’t find anything. It irritates a bit.

11.30.10

Several times throughout the day I felt as if there was a hair under my right eyelid, causing a red discolouration of the conjunctiva.

11.30.11.13:00

Ground to a halt by midday and need to have a lie down. Feels like the flu, with some pressure in my left ear.

Also pressure in my head (forehead and skull) and eyes, with drawing sensation in the upper left molars.

I have noticed that I have been sneezing over the last couple of days, at varying intervals and keep feeling the need to blow by nose but there’s no discharge.

I also have a sensation of a hair or grain of sand under my right upper lid. Makes me think of hay fever symptoms.

12.30.11.9:00

Felt like I’d got a foreign object in my right eye on the way to a seminar. I check it out in the mirror but can’t find anything.

12.30.12

The same feeling again in the morning, as if there’s something in my eye, this time affecting the left eye.

 

Tired - Heavy

10.30.2.21:00

While sitting at my desk can’t keep my eyes open when reading. I don’t comprehend what I’ve just read.

 

Cramp - Irritation

9.Plac.3.7:20

I rub my eye in such a awkward fashion that I poke my eyeball, which has caused some irritation to the eye.

 

10.30.5.17:30

Cramp in left eye muscles when reading.

 

 

Vision

 

Blurred - Veil - Fog

1.30.19.17:00

Poor circulation: debility, shaky legs, mild nausea, blurred vision, < sitting.

1.30.22

Distortion of perception, several times during the day, each time lasting half a minute: blurred vision, vertigo. The impression: people and things are moving slower, including myself.

10.30.7.21:30

A veil in front of my eyes while reading, like fog.

 

Darkness

10.30.18.17:45

Almost caused an accident on the way home after going to the farmer’s. It was dark and I didn’t see a delivery van coming from the left side. Only just missed by the skin of my teeth. Where did it come from?

10.30.18.18:00

Difficulty seeing in the dark.

 

Reading

5.200.1

Don’t see so well, can’t recognise capital letters.

10.30.18.20:00

Difficulty deciphering the programme at a concert. What is wrong with my eyes?

 

 

Ears

 

Dull - Pressure - Plane

11.30.6

Mild pain in my left ear (acoustic meatus) together with a numb sensation. The same as in an plane or something similar. Try to clear my ears several times but it doesn’t help. External pressure aggravates the pain. It’s still with me as I fall asleep.

11.30.11.13:00

Ground to a halt by midday and need to have a lie down. Feels like the flu, with some pressure in my left ear.

Also pressure in my head (forehead and skull) and eyes, with drawing sensation in the upper left molars.

 

Itching

10.30.5.8:00

Intense itching over the whole head, not improved by scratching. Large flakes of dandruff, and scabs. Better from a hot shower and brushing hair.

And itching inside left ear.

12.30.21

Intense itching in the ears suddenly in the evening.

 

Electricity

12.30.0.8:00

Sensation like electric shocks in right ear after the first dose of the remedy, a couple of times in a row.

One minute later I notice the same sensation in the upper abdomen, but somewhat weaker.

 

Whistling         

9.Plac.8.9:20

Short, high pitched whistling in right ear.

 

 

Nose

 

Sneezing - Tingling

2.200.10.4:00

Woken up by the dog barking.

Feel like I’m getting a cold.

Sneeze 2-3 times, severe tingling, only in right nostril.

Clear nasal discharge in right and left nostril, right is less blocked. .

2.200.10.18.00

Severe bouts of sneezing time and again throughout the whole day, tingling in the nose to some extent, < right side but also on the left.

Clear nasal discharge, excoriated nostrils.

10.30.19.19:45

Seemingly never-ending sneezing fits, followed by a runny nose.

 

Obstructed - Swollen

3.30.2

Blocked nose on waking, some discharge, and a need to blow my nose often. The mucous is pale yellow, viscous and only a small amount.

Once I’m up I can breathe through my nose again, during breakfast I have to blow my nose frequently, but after that not so often.

The mucous membranes in my nose have been swollen all day, but breathing is only affected slightly. I am better in the fresh air than indoors.

3.30.3

Blocked right nostril on waking, left is unaffected. Not much nasal discharge, light yellow to clear mucous. Sneezed once.

11.30.12.7:45

I feel ill, bunged up around my forehead. Blow my nose but there’s nothing there.

11.30.13

Blocked nose with no discharge. Left nostril feels very dry. Left upper molars are very painful, as with maxillary sinusitis. Feel like I’ve got flu, but no fever.

11.30.14

Woke at 4 am again. Difficult to get back to sleep again this time. On top of this my nose was completely blocked.

 

Yellow - Bloody

2.200.10.9.00

The nasal discharge is now quite pale yellow, and not so much of it. Sneezing now and then. Now I’ve got just slight tingling, firstly left nostril, then right.

6.30.1.7:00

Nasal discharge initially pale yellow with some blood, then clear with light blood. Yellow discharge from the inside corner of the eyes.

11.30.19

Nose and pharynx severely congested with phlegm overnight, and I had to blow out and spit up large amounts of yellow to clear phlegm.

 

 

Face

 

Itching - Excoriated - Burning - Rhagades - Dry - Herpes

1.30.16.20:30

Spontaneous, intense itching under the lower lip with slightly red skin discolouration in this area and a small bump which looks like a grain of barley. Itching lasts for about 15 minutes, scratching does not >. Afterwards I only notice this area when I touch it, when it burns, as if it’s excoriated.

2.200.1.7:30

The cracks in the corner of the mouth are very painful.

2.200.2.7:00

The cracks in the corner of the mouth are very painful.

2.200.2.16:00

The crack in the corner of the mouth is very painful and has crusted over.

A lymph node under the left side of the chin is swollen and is very painful when pressure is applied.

2.200.4.7:00

Intense burning, crack on left hand corner of mouth which has grown to about 4 times the size it was in the beginning, and has developed a yellow brown crust.

2.200.4.9:00

The crack doesn’t burn any more, but any movement causes pain, laughing etc.

2.200.10.18.00

Severe bouts of sneezing, time and again throughout the whole day, tingling in the nose to some extent, < right side but also on the left.

Clear nasal discharge, excoriated nostrils.

6.30.12

Very dry mouth and lips, they still feel dry after a bottle of mineral water.

6.30.13

Mouth and lips are permanently dry.

Herpes starting under the nose, feels sore.

6.30.24

Herpes came on during menses, mouth and lips continue to be very dry, drinking does not give any relief.

7.30.20

Very dry in the corner of my mouth.

7.30.34

Corner of the mouth very sore and dry.

9.Plac.20

Herpes came on extremely suddenly on the left side of the upper lip. Tension in the lip.

 

Young - Swollen - Dirty

5.200.17

A lot of people have said I look younger. Things are not affecting me as much at the moment, more able to distance myself from things.

10.30.3.7:00

I look in the mirror and see I’m puffed up, as if I hadn’t slept enough or went to bed too late yesterday, but that’s not the case.

10.30.8.9:30

Throughout the day I keep getting the feeling that I hadn’t washed my face today.

 

Warm – Glowing

2.200.0.16:00

Warm hands and face.

2.200.0.19:00

Warm face.

2.200.1.14:00

Warm hands and face

2.200.2.16:00

Generally warmer than usual, most noticeable on hands and face.

2.200.10.18:00

Felt frozen until 5.00 pm. Now I am lovely and warm, especially my hands and face.

10.30.0.10:40

Feel like my cheeks are red and glowing.

 

 

Mouth

 

Dry - Raw - Excoriated - Blisters

6.30.12

Very dry mouth and lips, they still feel dry after a bottle of mineral water.

6.30.13

Mouth and lips are permanently dry.

7.30.13.18:30

Small strip between lower jaw and lip is excoriated, as with blisters. Particularly noticeable from friction of food when eating.

12.30.4.18:00

My tongue feels raw and sore.

5.200.11

Small, painful lesions in my mouth, lower right side.

7.30.15

Blisters in my mouth are getting worse. Irritation of the whole area, < after eating a tangerine.

10.30.1.6:40

Very dry mouth on waking, not improved after brushing teeth.

 

White - Coated

2.200.0.16:00

My tongue is thin and has a white coating at the base, and the side, at the front.

 

Burning - Numb

1.30.0.7:35

A burning sensation starting under the right half of the tongue, only the area at the front initially.

1.30.0.9:45

Distension of the whole side and underneath part of the right side of the tongue, with no visible change.

By midday the burning sensation had changed to numbness, then during the course of the day this moves to the area underneath the back of the tongue (right).

1.30.1

A small numb area at the side of the tongue, underneath on the right, which lasts until the end of the day.

 

Salivation

2.200.4.15:00

Extreme salivation following afternoon nap (large wet patch), and I feel frozen and am sneezing.

6.30.27

The dry mouth has gone, instead of that I constantly feel that saliva is dribbling from the corner of my mouth (which is not the case). This sensation lasted for a week altogether.

10.30.0.10:40

Increased salivation and dribbling when I lie on my side.

 

Biting

10.30.10.9.00

I have noticed that my fingertips are dry. Tiny bits of skin are peeling away at the tip of the index finger.

I catch myself biting them off.

 

Pressure

2.200.0.16:00

Pressure pain parotid gland right and somewhat in left.

 

Tingling

2.200.0.21:00

Mild tingling in gums.

 

 

Teeth

 

Sensitive to heat

10.30.22.17:00

All my teeth are sensitive to heat.

 

Pulling sensation - As if inflamed

11.30.11.13:00

Ground to a halt by midday and need to have a lie-down. Feels like the flu, with some pressure in my left ear.

Also pressure in my head (forehead and skull) and eyes, with drawing sensation in the upper left molars.

11.30.13

Blocked nose with no discharge. Left nostril feels very dry. Left upper molars are very painful, as with maxillary sinusitis. Feel like I’ve got flu, but no fever.

 

 

Throat

 

Burning - Stabbing - Numb

2.200.0.16:00

Stabbing pain in my heart.

Warm hands and face.

Sore throat, mild burning.

2.200.0.16:30

Stabbing pains in left tonsil, only on the left side.

2.200.0.21:00

Pharynx red, mild burning.

Burning and numbness in pharynx, as if slightly anaesthetised.

2.200.10.4.00

Mild burning in throat.

2.200.21

Mild angina in the morning, right side, pricking?? sensation. 38.0 fever, perspiration at night, all symptoms has disappeared by midday.

3.30.3

Mild stabbing in throat, particularly right side.

3.30.4

Stabbing in throat sometimes distinct, sometimes absent.

 

Congested with phlegm

11.30.19

Nose and pharynx severely congested with phlegm overnight, and I had to blow out and cough up large amounts of yellow to clear phlegm.

 

Full of cold air

12.30.4.18:00

Urge to cough with sensation as if my throat was full of cold air.

 

 

Stomach

 

Nausea - Queasy - Vomiting - Urge to vomit - Pressure

1.30.2

Slight problems with circulation in the morning felt as mild nausea, particularly when travelling on public transport.

1.30.19.17:00

Poor circulation: debility, shaky legs, mild nausea, blurred vision, < sitting.

3.30.19

Queasy feeling in my stomach on getting up, eased by fennel tea and grated apple.

3.30.19

Depressed, Queasy feeling, > after walking in the fresh air.

5.200.4

Mild nausea, self doubt and feel tired and worn out. Am very absent-minded.

8.Plac.0.17:00

Mild pressure in my head behind my forehead and eyes, comes and goes.

Also mild nausea. Feels like the nausea is connected to the metallic taste I am experiencing.

8.Plac.4.19:00

Nausea again and an unpleasant taste in my mouth. And I can’t stand any external pressure on my stomach.

11.30.11

Nausea building up after breakfast, triggered by black tea.

Feel somewhat light-headed generally.

3.30.18

Vomiting, the vomit gets into the paranasal sinuses, and from there tingling and stabbing pains which extend to the head, especially the vertex.

The nausea comes on in sudden fits (vomited 4 times), I can’t even keep water down.

2.200.0.17:15

Pressure pain in abdomen, initially for a very short time on the right, then only on the left for a short time.

Queasy feeling in the stomach area, passing copious amounts of wind.

12.30.3.8:00

Nausea while brushing teeth, which I had only ever experienced before during pregnancy.

Ravenous hunger.

10.30.14.13:00

I feel ravenous again.

Thirst for water

1.30.2.12:00

Intense thirst, sudden onset. I had to drink cold water immediately, a lot of it and quickly.

 

Abdomen

 

Hollow and empty

10.30.1.6:40

Mild vertigo and empty sensation in my abdomen when standing in front of the wash-basin.

10.30.13

A hollow sensation in the whole of the large intestine area, particularly on the right side in the ascending colon (lasts about 2 hours).

10.30.14.10:00

Empty sensation in abdomen. I absolutely have to eat a second breakfast.

 

Tension and pressure - electric shock

11.30.6

I bought a packet of mixed Haribo (fruit flavoured sweets with liquorice) and make my way to the motorway. The sweets don’t taste right and give me a distended abdomen.

11.30.13.18:00

Pressure pain in the left hip-bone.

12.30.0.

Flatulence developing during the morning.

12.30.0.8:00

Sensation like electric shocks in right ear after the first dose of the remedy, a couple of times in a row.

One minute later I notice the same sensation in the upper abdomen, but somewhat weaker.

 

Itching, making we want to scratch

10.30.7

Itch, making me want to scratch my abdomen. Pale pink discolouration, an area the size of a 5 Mark piece, just above the pubic hair and it itches like a mosquito bite (but how could that happen in November?).

 

 

Rectum

 

Passing copious amounts of wind

2.200.0.17:15

Pressure pain in abdomen, initially for a very short time on the right, then only on the left for a short time.

Queasy feeling in the stomach area, passing copious amounts of wind.

2.200.1.14:00

Short and intense passing of wind following lunch (I never have this after eating green beans usually).

 

Haemorrhoids - Bleeding - Wind

6.30.3

Woke in the night with strong haemorrhoid pain, pressing from inside out. Lying on my abdomen > the pain.

6.30.50

My haemorrhoid complaint has disappeared. I last experienced this 12 years ago!!

10.30.3.23:00

First dragging in the bowels here and there, then diarrhoea, mixture of runny and firm. Followed by bleeding haemorrhoids and a sore feeling in the rectum.

 

 

Stool

 

Light brown - mixture of firm and runny

6.30.1.14:30

Light brown diarrhoea an hour after lunch, runny.

10.30.3.23:00

First dragging in the bowels back and forth, then diarrhoea, mixture of runny and firm. Followed by bleeding haemorrhoids and a sore feeling in the rectum.

 

Light brown

6.30.1.14:30

Light brown diarrhoea an hour after lunch, runny.

 

 

Bladder

 

Pressure and full feeling - Cramp and retention

1.30.8.

Permanent pressure on the bladder, but not causing frequent urination (lasting until I fell asleep).

1.30.9

The abdominal twinges and the pressure on the bladder from the day before remain unchanged and last until the evening again.

1.30.10

The abdominal twinges and the pressure on the bladder remain unchanged until the late afternoon when they disappear with the onset of menses.

10.30.22.5:30

I wake and need to urinate. It is difficult for me to let go even though my bladder is very full. It seems to me that the involuntary muscles block one another. It takes a while before I am able to urinate. Then there is pain in the sphincter muscle, like cramp.

11.30.12

It’s still dark when I wake up. My bladder is full and my penis erect, which prevents me from falling asleep again. I have to empty my bladder so that I can fall asleep again. The same thing happened to me the last 2 nights.

11.30.12

Sleep until 4.00 am and wake again with a full bladder and erect penis.

Have to go to the toilet again to empty my bladder.

 

Urge in the night - Empty feeling

10.30.8

I have noticed that I have had to get up almost every night to urinate (very unusual). After urinating I have a totally empty feeling in my abdomen.

 

 

Kidney

 

Pressure - Stabbing

2.200.1.7:30

Brief sensation of pressure in my left kidney.

2.200.1.10:00

Stabbing in left kidney, stabbing in back, right kidney.

2.200.2.10:45

Severe pressure in left kidney, initially with mild stabbing.

2.200.3.15:00

Pressure pain in left kidney.

2.200.7.16:00

Pressure pain in left kidney.

 

 

Urethra

 

Pressure - Letting go - Cramped

10.30.22.5:30

I wake and need to urinate. It is difficult for me to let go even though my bladder is very full. It seems to me that the involuntary muscles block one another. It takes a while before I am able to urinate. Then there is pain in the sphincter muscle, like cramp.

 

 

Female Genitalia

 

Stabbing - Stitching - sometimes right, sometimes left - like a band

1.30.8.

Abdominal pain since waking, stitching, short duration, one after the other, sometimes in the right ovary, sometimes the left (lasting until I fell asleep).

1.30.9

The abdominal stitches and the pressure on the bladder from the day before remain unchanged and last until the evening again.

1.30.10

The abdominal stitches and the pressure on the bladder remain unchanged until the late afternoon when they disappear with the onset of menses.

2.200.1.9:30

Mild stitches in my lower abdomen (ovaries?), starting off mild, right sided, then very noticeable on the left side, with stabbing pain in my right temple simultaneously, then wandering, stabbing pain in my forehead.

2.200.1.14:00

Intermittent stitches in right ovary for the last 3 days.

6.30.4.11:30

Mild dragging pain in both ovaries, < right side, gone after 15 minutes. The pain dragged like a band from one side to the other.

 

Pressure from inside outwards - Congestion -  No flow during the night - Profuse flow during the night

1.30.12.8:00

Woken as a result of menstrual symptoms; dragging pain in abdomen from inside outwards, with nausea making me feel I’d have to vomit. I had the feeling that the menstrual blood had clogged up inside me and wasn’t going to flow freely, and I actually didn’t lose any blood that night. Restlessness, moving around here and there in the flat, trying to find a position in which I could tolerate this incredible pain.

1.30.12.9:00

The abdominal dragging pain has subsided somewhat, still coming on throughout the day, sometimes stronger, sometimes less, as also the weariness and tiredness.

6.30.12

Menses flowing only during the daytime.

6.30.50

Menses 10 days late. Once again only flowing during the day, ceasing during the night.

9.Plac.14

Unusually profuse menstrual bleeding, to the extent that blood seeped through to my knickers and pyjamas.

 

Wave-like - Increasing - Decreasing

1.30.13

still getting the abdominal pains from the previous day, increasing and decreasing in waves, until late afternoon when they cease of their own accord, for no apparent reason.

 

Itching - Dry - Open - Aversion

2.200.2.22:00

Mild itching in the vagina again in the evening. As a result of this a very pleasant feeling during sex, linked with a lot of affection, talking and openness.

12.30.7.

Absolutely no desire for sex at present, especially due to painful vaginal dryness.

 

Late

12.30.18

Menses a week late, usually exactly four week intervals.

 

Brown thread - String

3.30.3

Very little menstrual blood, dark brown threads.

Then increase in whitish-brown discharge.

3.30.6

I notice a dried thread of blood, like string, in my knickers and a bit of a brown discharge.

6.30.13

Menses: Bright red blood, contains a lot of dark bits of mucous membrane.

 

Bleeding after having a bath

3.30.25

Menses really kicks in after having a bath.

 

 

Male genitalia

 

Erections during the night

11.30.12

It’s still dark when I wake up. My bladder is full and my penis erect, which prevents me from falling asleep again. I have to empty my bladder so that I can fall asleep again. The same thing happened to me the last 2 nights.

11.30.12

Sleep until 4.00 am and wake again with a full bladder and erect penis.

Have to go to the toilet again to empty my bladder.

 

Pressure in the prostate during the night

11.30.28

Wake with intense pain (pressing, stabbing) in my prostate, just above the pubic bone (after coition). The pain is very unpleasant and lasts the whole day.

 

 

Cough

 

Dry - Barking

2.200.2.7:00

The dry cough continues to loosen up.

2.200.7.7:00

The dry cough has been about 80% better for a few days.

11.30.19.16:00

My cough is getting worse. It is a terrible barking cough, and comes on very suddenly. The urge to cough comes on in isolated bouts, abruptly, no matter what I am doing at the time.

The cough is < when lying down, lying one my back, and doing anything physical.

 

Cough (urge to) - Pepper - Chilli - Water

11.30.21

Relentless cough after eating a Turkish dish containing chilli. Not eased by drinking water.

11.30.27

Strong urge to cough after eating freshly ground pepper.

12.30.4.18:00

Urge to cough with sensation as if my throat was full of cold air.

 

 

Expectoration

 

Yellow expectoration

11.30.19

Nose and pharynx severely congested with phlegm overnight, and I had to blow out and cough up large amounts of yellow to clear phlegm.

 

 

Chest

 

Stabbing - Trapped - Pressure

1.30.7

A stabbing pain in right side of chest as if a nerve was trapped. It came on after waking, lasting until I went to sleep. The pain is centred around the front and extends through the chest backwards, > inhaling.

2.200.0.16:00

Stabbing pain in my heart.

Warm hands and face.

Sore throat, mild burning.

2.200.1.7:30

Mild palpitation, stabbing in the heart (for about 10 minutes)

11.30.7.10:00

Vertigo from my ears upwards (not in the whole of my head) after getting up from the chair.

Pressure in my left breast lasting approximately 10 seconds, it comes and goes. I am somewhat concerned. Nothing has an effect on it.

11.30.13.18:00

I am conscious of my eyes, they feel hot, but I don’t have any fever. Feeling of tension in the bronchial tubes and lungs.

 

Chilliness

10.30.0.11:10

Sudden chilliness in left breast (disappears just as quick).

Cold ears (noticed it suddenly).

 

Palpitation

2.200.0.13:00

Palpitation for about 20 minutes.

2.200.3.7:00

Violent palpitation on waking.

 

Itching - Chapped - Sore

1.30.2.21:00

Sudden, intense itching on sternum, > scratching intensely for a long time.

1.30.3.10:00

This is the third time I’ve had the urge to scratch my breastbone.

2.200.1.14:00

Moist right nipple, sensitive when bathing.

2.200.2.7:00

Very sensitive right nipple, itching.

2.200.3.8:00

Intense itching under the left axilla (inner side, towards the breast), red after scratching. A small patch, dark red, like eczema.

6.30.39

Skin under my breast has been really dry and flaky for 4 days (like bran flakes), no pain or itching.

12.30.5.9:00

While I was showering I noticed a brown mark, the size of my thumb, near my axilla, looks like a café-au-lait mark, not painful.

12.30.12

I noticed some pimples on my left breast in the evening. They are red and itch a lot when touched. The glands around the areola have increased in size and protrude like small nodules.

 

 

Back

 

Sore muscles

1.30.3

The whole of my back has felt like I pulled a muscle for the whole of the day, from my neck, including the area at the back of my shoulder to the lumbar area, > keeping still.

 

Compressed together - Pressure

1.30.15

Sudden, severe pain in the lumbar area when lifting a heavy box with books in. It feels as if my spine has been compressed together and the individual vertebrae are out of alignment. I experience tremendous pain and stiffness when I move.

10.30.23.8:00

Slipped on steps and banged my left buttock. Feeling of compression in my back.

1.30.16.11:00

After sitting a while (45 minute train journey) the pain has suddenly disappeared with just mild lumbar pressure remaining.

10.30.5.8:00

The pain in the sacral area has returned, better for pressure (fist or flat hand), also > from lying on the painful part (lying flat on the back).

 

Motion - Rest - Bending

1.30.13

Mild lumbar pain lasting throughout the whole day, > from resting.

10.30.0.9:55

My back is so incredibly painful, not improved by motion (as is usually the case).

10.30.5.8:30

The sacral pain is < bending forward, also < putting on trousers.

11.30.11

Lumbar pain (L3-L4). Lancinating and < bending forward.

Really exhausted around 9.00 pm and have to go to bed. I make sure I don’t lie on my back as this aggravates the pain in my back.

11.30.13.

Feel full of cold and ill.

Lumbar pains are very intense after getting up. They are < bending down and after getting up from a chair. When I bend forward I get the lancinating pain again, with the feeling that I’m going to snap in two .

10.30.2.14:30

Remittent back pain, especially when I have been crouching in one position for a while on the floor with the children

Carrying

11.30.13.14:00

Lumbar pain extending to both hips when carrying a tray.

 

Light - Wine

10.30.4.20.15

Back pain has disappeared after 3 glasses of wine ( I had pain in the sacral area all day).

10.30.6.8:00

This is the first morning that I have woken with no back pain. Everything is getting easier.

 

Weak - Paralysis

10.30.3.11:30

Weakness in the lumbar region, extending to sacrum, after housework.

10.30.10.9:00

The back pain is in the background all the time, but doesn’t bother me as much, it is more like a paralysis.

 

Stabbing

2.200.1.10:00

Stabbing in left kidney, stabbing pain in the back, right kidney.

 

Itching

10.30.21.21:00

Intense itching on my back from 9.00 pm.

 

 

Extremities

 

Pumped up - Don’t belong to me - Twisted - Pulled

 

1.30.1

My knees feel like they don’t belong to my body, a little like they had been pumped up, not painful.

6.30.0.13:30

Left knee feels like it’s been twisted, < walking, < bending (when driving).

7.30.3.8:00

Dragging in my right shoulder and sensation as if I’d pulled a muscle since waking up; < lifting up my arm when moving backwards. Feel as if I have to make a counter movement to ease the pain, but it doesn’t help.

 

Weak - Heavy - Shaky - Dropping things

1.30.19.17:00

Poor circulation: debility, shaky legs, mild nausea, blurred vision, < sitting.

10.30.0.10:40

Dropped the post

10.30.1.6:40

I still have really heavy limbs at breakfast time.

 

Battered - Bruised

12.30.10

During the night shift I constantly had the feeling that the muscles that are normally compressed when sitting, had gone to sleep (especially the thigh). My muscles feel bruised generally.

 

Dry - Cracked - Itchy - Small blisters - Peeling - Leprosy

1.30.15.20:00

Sudden appearance of redness and dry skin on the middle and front finger joints on both hands at around 10.00 pm. Outbreaks in various places on my skin within an hour and there are small lesions that burn.

1.30. 16

Finger joints continue to be red, dry and cracked.

3.30.3

Itching on the inside of the elbow in the evening.

3.30.4

Right elbow itching from time to time, better after a good scratch

3.30.4

Elbow is itching in the same place again in the evening, scratching doesn’t help much.

3.30.7

Increased itching in the elbow, cold water >, having a good scratch >.

3.30.10

Feet itching incredibly after dinner, when warming up (had felt frozen the whole of the day until then).

6.30.2.

Itching and suppuration of small blisters filled with water between 3rd and 4th toe on right foot, painful after scratching, having a shower >.

9.Plac.21

I have developed a wart on my right foot, under the left toe.

10.30.10.9.00

I have noticed that my fingertips are dry. Tiny bits of skin are peeling away at the tip of the index finger.

I catch myself biting them off.

10.30.14.20:00

The skin on my fingertips is pealing again.

11.30.0.7:30

Large blisters, itchy and filled with water on left index finger on the inside (I am not at all happy about this because I don’t want to have a skin complaint!)

11.30.0.21:00

I can feel a water-filled blister (index finger). I don’t pay any more attention to it. Only hope I won’t catch leprosy.

 

Cramp

12.30.8

Cramps in right thigh when lying on my left side and vice versa on the left side when lying on my right.

 

Warm - Cold

2.200.0.8:00

Warm hands

2.200.0.10:00

Warm hands and tired eyes.

2.200.0.16:00

Stabbing pain in my heart.

Warm hands and face.

Sore throat, mild burning.

2.200.0.19:00

Hands are very warm.

Warm face.

2.200.1.14:00

Warm hands and face.

2.200.2.16:00

Generally warmer than usual, most noticeable on hands and face.

2.200.10.18:00

Felt frozen until 5.00 pm. Now I am lovely and warm, especially my hands and face.

10.30.14.20:00

Feet very hot in the evening. Felt very warm the whole of the day, even though everyone else thinks it’s very cold today.

10.30.16.12:00

Hot flushes on the upper part of my body, and my right foot feels cold.

12.30.0.20:00

Hands and feet have been cold all the time.

 

Swollen - Stiff - Blue

10.30.25

Wake in the night with stiffness in my hands, which disappears quickly after movement. The stiffness continues to be present every time I wake up

12.30.1.

My hands are swollen and stiff.

12.30.2

My hands are swollen and stiff again today.

10.30.16.12:00

Feels like there’s a bruise on my shin (but nothing’s visible), painful to touch.

 

 

Pains in the limbs

 

Stabbing - Sharp knife

3.30.13

Stabbing pain, where the skin is open, under the right middle toe. The stabbing pain comes on from movement and touch, sharp like a knife.

 

Pressing

1.30.0.14:45

Pain in both knees just above the patella, stronger on the left than the right. Sensation: just a light pressing pain and only when bending the lower leg 90°. The areas are sensitive to pressure, < from warmth.

6.30.0.14:30

Pressure pain left hip on the outer side.

 

Dull - Open Window - Shoulder - Driving a car

3.30.5

Dull pain in right shoulder joint when lying on it. I slept under an open window last night, which could have been the trigger.

The pain disappeared once I was up.

9.Plac.0.10.05

Pain in left shoulder joint, extending to my upper arm (when driving) and gone after the drive.

 

Thumbs - Writing

9.Plac.19

Pain in my thumb knuckle while writing.

 

 

Sleep

 

Unrefreshing - Bad - Deep

1.30.1

Unrefreshing sleep, waking frequently in the night, no dreams.

10.30.8

Incredibly tired in the morning, despite a long, undisturbed sleep.

11.30.20

Poor sleep in the last couple of nights is taking it out on me somewhat. I am not as energetic and have to have a rest more often.

1.30.13

Deep and sound sleep, but not so refreshing.

1.30.3

Deep, sound sleep, with no dreams, interrupted once by the recurring itch on the sternum, which woke me.

 

Tossing and turning - Restless

1.30.3

Difficulty falling asleep, tossing and turning. Unwelcomed, worrying thoughts about present circumstances come into my mind. After about an hour I have a compulsive need to open the window wide open, feel I need to breathe in fresh air, which makes me feel better and I can then fall asleep.

1.30.4

Restless sleep with several interruptions.

Towards morning a dream definitely touching on one of the themes in my life at present regarding conflict

Feeling in the dream: Panic, desperation, helplessness.

5.200.1

Woke up several times in the night.

 

Wide awake - Awake

6.30.1.6:00

Hear my husband’s alarm (usually never or seldom), am wide awake, but fall back asleep again easily.

6.30.1.7:00

Woken by my daughter, am awake straight away, can get up easily.

 

Four o’clock - One and two o’clock

11.30.14

Woke at 4 am again. Difficult to get back to sleep again this time. On top of this my nose was completely blocked.

5.200.11

I have been waking between 1.30 and 2.30 am on a regular basis with problems in my head to do with circulation, which frighten me. I get out of bed, feel like I’ve drunk a lot of alcohol. Feel dizzy, then I get back to bed again, calm myself down and am able to fall asleep again.

 

 

Chill

 

2.200.3.17:00

Very cold, nervous.

2.200.4.15:00

Extreme salivation following afternoon nap (large wet patch), and I feel frozen and am sneezing.

10.30.23.17:00

Heat in my head, yet feeling cold in my body, feel slightly chilly.

11.30.13

Feel freezing cold and dress up warm in the flat.

 

 

Perspiration

 

Night sweats

2.200.2.7:00

Woke drenched in sweat, my whole body is clammy.

2.200.8.9:00

Strong night sweat on whole body.

2.200.21

Mild angina in the morning, right side, possibly a pricking sensation. Rectal temperature 38.0°, perspiration at night, all symptoms have disappeared by midday.

 

 

Skin

 

Itching - Scratching - Dry

1.30.2.21:00

Sudden, intense itching on sternum, > scratching intensely for a long time.

3.30.4

Elbow is itching in the same place again in the evening, scratching doesn’t help much.

6.30.0.21:00

Itching of an old scar (gall bladder operation).

12.30.8

Extremely dry skin generally.

 

Cold water

3.30.7

Increased itching in the elbow, cold water >, having a good scratch >.

 

Leprosy - Small blisters

11.30.0.7:30

Large blisters, itchy and filled with water on left index finger on the inside (I am not at all happy about this because I don’t want to have a skin condition!)

11.30.0.21:00

I can feel a water-filled blister (index finger). I don’t pay any more attention to it. Only hope I won’t catch leprosy.

 

Café-au-lait

12.30.5.9:00

While I was showering I noticed a brown mark, the size of my thumb, near my axilla, looks like a café-au-lait mark, not painful.

 

 

Generalities

 

Tired - Weak - Slow - Heavy

1.30.2

Slight problems with circulation in the morning felt as mild nausea, particularly when travelling on public transport.

1.30.2.12:00

Considerable tiredness throughout the whole day, weary down to the bones, physically as well as psychologically.

1.30.2.21:30

Had to go to bed straight away and fell asleep instantly.

1.30.4.17:00

Intense tiredness and weariness which came on suddenly.

1.30.5

Sudden onset of tiredness.

1.30.8.17:00

Considerable tiredness, came on suddenly.

1.30.12.9:00

Fell asleep again and didn’t wake until 2.00 pm. Feel weary, drained with a similar feeling to when you wake up in the morning with a fever.

The abdominal dragging pain has subsided somewhat, still coming on throughout the day, sometimes stronger, sometimes less, as also the weariness and tiredness.

1.30.18

Feel very tired as if I haven’t had enough sleep.

1.30.19

Very tired and heavy.

1.30.19.17:00

Poor circulation: debility, shaky legs, mild nausea, blurred vision, < sitting.

1.30.20

Very tired, heavy.

1.30.21

Very tired, heavy.

1.30.22

Very tired and heavy.

2.200.1.7:30

Feel very tired, would prefer not to have to go to work.

2.200.8.13:00

Not able to concentrate at work and exhausted.

I feel very tired at midday, also still exhausted after an afternoon nap.

2.200.9.10:00

I slept for a long time, but feel very exhausted, not capable of concentrating on my work. I would prefer not to have to do anything at all and flap (like a chicken) between the kitchen and the office without accomplishing much.

Strong feelings of grief again, the first time since taking the remedy, feels more like a paralysis of energy.

2.200.9.17:00

Feeling exhausted before and after midday nap. I am shocked that the day is almost over.

8.Plac.0.9:00

I feel very tired and weary, no energy. I could fall asleep while sitting even though I went to bed early yesterday.

10.30.0.10:40

Slept well for half an hour, I’m absolutely shattered.

10.30.0.10:40

Tiredness has become even worse after sleeping.

10.30.1.6:40

It takes me a while to get going.

10.30.2.18.00

The light feeling is dwindling.

10.30.3.6:40

It’s taking me a long time to wake up today.

I’ve got the impression it’s taking me a long time getting things done this morning.

10.30.17.10:45

Tiredness (like lead) at the desk at work. I even fell asleep bent forward.

10.30.23.18:30

Feel old and stiff.

11.30.12

I feel ill and yet not ill. It’s very strange. In spite of everything I can do almost everything, but just slower.

11.30.20

The poor sleep in the last couple of nights is taking it out on me somewhat. I am not as energetic and have to have a rest more often.

12.30.0.10:00

Try to read a book. But I keep falling asleep all the time. On one occasion I wake up with such a terrible shock, that a violent jerk goes right through me.

 

Battered - Bruised

12.30.10

During the night shift I constantly had the feeling that the muscles that are normally compressed when sitting had gone to asleep (especially the thigh). My muscles feel bruised generally.

12.30.12

When falling asleep on my side (my favourite position) as soon as the muscles are compressed from lying on them they go to sleep. And with this the beaten and crushed feeling again.

 

Full of energy - Young - Beautiful

2.200.8.13:00

Full of energy again at the dance course and am enjoying learning.

2.200.10.9.00

A lot of energy and in the mood for work despite feeling like I’ve got a cold.

2.200.10.18:00

I’m astonished that I feel full of energy, despite feeling like I’ve got a cold. Can work and am very focused.

5.200.5

A lot of people have said that I look different (look younger).

5.200.17

A lot of people have said I look younger. Things are not affecting me as much at the moment, more able to distance myself from things.

9.Plac.0.13:05

Am not tired at all, in high spirits, usually I am always tired after work. I’m very surprised about this.

11.30.5

I am sitting in a seminar and thinking about how much homeopathy changes people. It makes them beautiful - in a unique way - and young.

 

Accidents

2.200.10.10.00

Cut my left index finger badly with the bread knife.

2.200.27

My daughter’s birthday. Another accident: I actually feel that I don’t have any more proving symptoms. But because it possibly fits in with the concept to do with the bread knife and the dream

about a knife I have written it down.

I was cooking 2 chickens in a large pressure cooker that I don’t normally use. I also have a smaller, one which needs to be opened in a different way to release the steam.

My mother had put the lid on, the pressure is at it’s highest when I open it, using force, thinking that the lid has jammed (as is frequently the case with the smaller pressure cooker). Then the chickens shoot out up to the ceiling and I scald my back and hairline badly with the hot steam and stock.

I don’t normally have accidents of this kind, and generally tend to be more on the cautious side.

5.200.65

After dreaming that my tom-cat had a fall (belly flop) I fall when coming out of a friend’s front door. I’ve grazed and bruised myself and I’m in a lot of pain. My purse has fallen under a car. I pick up all my things and spend the whole evening lying on the sofa with my cat. My thoughts about this: I am getting old. I was talking about the Fountain of Youth and themes to do with addiction today. I will have to keep moving, otherwise I will cease up.

9.Plac.3.7:20

I rub my eye in such an awkward fashion that I poke my eyeball, which has caused some irritation to the eye.

9.Plac.18.8:15

Bang myself on the cupboard and bruise my right upper arm.

Shortly after, I burn my right index finger with hot oil.

9.Plac.23

Give myself a paper cut on the left thumb.

9.Plac.30

Cut myself on the right index finger.

10.30.18.17:45

Almost caused an accident on the way home after going to the farmer’s. It was dark and I didn’t see a delivery van coming from the left side. Only just missed it by the skin of my teeth. Where did it come from?

10.30.23.8:00

Slipped on steps and banged my left buttock. Feeling of compression in my back.

 

Desire - Aversion

1.30.2.12:00

Intense thirst, sudden onset. I had to drink cold water immediately, a lot of it and quickly.

5.200.66

I keep wanting to take the remedy.

6.30.6.15:00

Extremely strong craving for coffee.

I went to see ‘7 Years in Tibet’ at the cinema in the evening. I am deeply impressed with how Peter Harrer sheds his tough exterior.

10.30.3.13:00

Suddenly had a craving for cold milk while cooking. Then had 3 large glasses of milk before lunch.

10.30.4.20.15

Back pain has disappeared after 3 glasses of wine (I had pain in the sacral area all day).

11.30.6

What has been striking in the last two days is a strong thirst for tea, which I have given into with relish.

11.30.6

I bought a packet of mixed Haribo (fruit flavoured sweets with liquorice) and make my way to the motorway. The sweets don’t taste right and give me a distended abdomen.

11.30.8

I continue to notice my extreme thirst for black tea.

11.30.13

Aversion to cigarette smoke. I am frequently overcome with a peculiar feeling of abhorrence, yet I experience pity when I see others smoking. It is really evident to me how addiction eats away at people. Probably a more intense feeling because I was once into asceticism.

11.30.13

Sensation of heat internally, particularly in the mouth and pharynx, urethra, stomach and eyes, with a desire for cold water.

But I only drink a little as my body often feels frozen and would prefer not to have to go out before or after 11.00 am to 4.00 pm.

6.30.25

I can’t be bothered writing more of the same stuff down. I’m going to have another coffee!!!!

 

Calm - Warm

2.200.4.7:00

Feel warm, very calm.

2.200.6

Feel calmer again and warm.

 

Fresh air

1.30.3

Difficulty falling asleep, tossing and turning. Unwelcomed, worrying thoughts about present circumstances come into my mind. After about an hour I have a compulsive need to open the window wide open, feel I need to breathe in fresh air, which makes me feel better and I can then fall asleep.

 

Alternating between dreams and physical symptoms

10.30.13

It feels like the dreams are alternating with the physical symptoms. There are few physical symptoms on days following copious dreams and vice versa there are many symptoms following nights in which there has been little dream recall.

 

As if symptoms

1.30.1

My knees feel like they don’t belong to my body, a little like they had been pumped up, not painful.

5.200.37

I am becoming more decisive, I re-experience emotional connections from the past with great clarity, as if a curtain had been pulled aside.

9.Plac.0.9:55

Feeling as if someone else was fastening my shoelaces.

10.30.8.9:30

Throughout the day I keep getting the feeling that I hadn’t washed my face today.

6.30.27

The dry mouth has gone, instead of that I constantly feel that saliva is dribbling from the corner of my mouth (but which is not the case). This sensation lasted for a week altogether.

12.30.4.18:00

Urge to cough with sensation as if my throat was full of cold air.

10.30.14.

Dream

I am at university. We are sitting in class being taught, I think it’s maths. All of a sudden I have to cough. I want to get a lozenge out of my bag. My bag is a complete mess, lots of pens and sweets, and everything falls out of my bag, which disrupts the class quite a bit. There’s a splashing sound coming from the benches behind me as if someone is having a pee.